The decision to have a child is the most important that we are going to make in our lives. And although we ask it very consciously, I would like to encourage you to ask two really complicated questions. Being parents implies resignations and commitments that you may not have considered as seriously as I propose with these two questions you should ask yourself before becoming parents. Do it. And I assure you that you will arrive at the moment of being a father or mother with enormous security.
Are you prepared to give up many things?
This decision to be parents will completely change the way we see the world and make us reconsider all our priorities. It doesn't matter more than anything what we love or what we believe, but there will be a human being that will be, from now on, much more important than ourselves and whose well-being will always be before ours. And that will make you have to give up other things. Are you willing
Many of the things we like are going to be parked or, of course, we will be able to spend much less time. I do not mean just that we will have to give up whims like spending on some boots, a weekend in a little hotel or an expensive cream or book because the resources will be used on the child. We will also have to stop going out at night, to drink too much alcohol on space occasions, to allow ourselves to spend a blank night to be with friends. Not always, but the reality is that there are many resignations that await you.
Possibly the games of letters, the soccer of Sunday, the exits, the marathons of series or reading hours and hours a fascinating book are things for which we can no longer have time, or certainly not as much time as before. If you intend, without saying it, to continue doing that and that it is your partner or the grandparents who carry the weight of the permanence next to your son it is better that you be sincere with yourselves and with the others. If you want to be a father or mother but have another take care of your child for your life before something will fail. Something is going to fail, I assure you.
Raising a child requires a lot of time, many sleepless nights, many worries, a lot of work and a lot of attention. If you are not one hundred percent you are failing the child and those around you. Your child will feel from the outset the quality of your commitment to him. It is not enough that it is what you love most in the world and that you tell him, which is indispensable but not enough, all this you will have to prove. If you fail him, he will know.
If someone tells you that none of that will change, you lie or spend very little time being with your children. Because we can go to some activities with the children but not all of them and we will also have to assess whether our son is interested in what we find so entertaining. Get ready to watch cartoons, read stories, play construction or go for a walk in the countryside quietly and loaded with everything the child needs for comfort.
It will get bad, because all the kids get sick. And I assure you that if your child has a fever or vomits, something that the first few years pass a lot, you have to cancel the plans, be it your best friend's wedding or a country meal with all your cousins. The child is first and leaving him with other people is not always possible or good for the child, who needs you by his side. You will not always have to give up everything, but your child's happiness will be the most important thing now. You will give up many things for your son.
Are you ready for the commitment?
Your child will be the person that matters most to you. For your well-being you will strive, fight, work harder than ever to be able to give you the greatest well-being in every way, both emotional and economic. The money that you will save from daily life and you will invest in gifts, toys, books, classes, sports, vacations and studies.Are you really prepared for that commitment?
As the years pass, although you believe that dedication decreases and in some ways the child becomes more autonomous, his needs and personal development needs will increase. Your commitment to your child will not diminish, because you are the guarantors of their well-being and the instrument of destiny so that they can reach adulthood prepared to be free, autonomous and with all the tools to make their dreams come true.
Your commitment must be authentic and put into practice. How many hours have you dedicated to your studies, your partner or your hobbies? Now that time and that energy should be dedicated, primarily, to your child. Get ready for him. Learn Do not be guided by any advice or custom about your care. Do not stay on the surface. Do not delegate without investigating well your health, your diet or your education in others. Do not let any medical or educational institution decide for you, the ultimate responsibility will be yours and there are many things in which you will have a voice and vote.
You have to be a better person. We can all be better people. It is not that this will change by bringing a child into the world, however much infinite love helps us. We all carry backpacks of bad habits. Children are exhausting and in addition, responsibility weighs. Let's see ourselves under pressure. And we can lose our nerves and repeat things that our parents did with us that hurt us as children.
It is time to work deeply inside us to be good parents, face our ghosts, change attitudes, be more tolerant, more patient, more controlled. If we feel that we lose control under pressure and scream or want to hit someone, we have to fix it before our son pays for it. I assure you that you can greatly improve the way we interact if we are serious about it.
Your commitment is material too. Plan and find out about the options for their care, what you are going to do if you both work outside the home, the place and the professionals who will attend your birth, the preparation and training in breastfeeding and the puerperium, the bases for a good emotional and educational development, your health .
And also, plan your economy, the changes you are going to make at home, the schedules, who will take care of household chores. Everything you have well organized will make parenting happier for everyone, and, although we cannot know what will happen tomorrow, it is always good to have things as well thought and spoken as possible.
You will have to sleep very little for years, you will have to respect your child's needs above all, you will have to treat him as you like to be treated because how you treat him will depend on his self-esteem, his ability to be happy and his chances of having a satisfactory life. It is not to have a child, it is to become parents what has to motivate you, and that work is for a lifetime. Ask you the real reason why you want to be parents. And then, decide.
Do you find it very difficult to give up so many things and commit to this point? Well, it's partly difficult, partly simple. But one thing if I tell you, compensates, compensates absolutely and tenaciously. It is the most wonderful experience you will ever live. What you will remember the last day of your life, what makes you feel happier and proud, the greatest that awaits you.
