At this point in the year, mothers are heard leaving the school to talk about dress tests, banquets, photographic reports and gifts. They could perfectly be talking about the celebration of a wedding, with the proviso that the protagonists of the event are children of only nine and ten years who soon make their first communion.
A few days ago Armando talked about the level that the children's parties have reached, and the communions are, without a doubt, the "goes no more" of children's celebrations. But Have we gone crazy? Is such an ostentatious celebration really necessary? When we were little they were much simpler, but in recent years, communions have become mini-weddings, to the detriment of children and the parents' pocket.
"We are leaving the clamp"
Although they are not my words, I share them one hundred percent. The juvenile judge Emilio Calatayud asked in his blog to measure with the communion treats that the clamp is going away:
Good, I'm Emilio Calatayud. Here is the pooper of the judge with the sermon of all the years: let us be restrained with the treats, banquets and gifts of the communions, that the clamp is going away to us. As we go, the banks are going to have to grant microcredits so that we can live up to the gifts and feasts that are currently organized to celebrate the first communions. What was once a chocolate with churros and a little clock today is a 'master chef' lunch, a trip to Eurodisney and the latest generation mobile. And that, at the very least. We are setting the bar too high. Let's leave something for when they get married.
For now, I have not been invited to any communion. Well, that saved me.
Like a wedding, but with ten years
With two communions in tow (and on top of girls, that the one of the dress adds much stress) I speak with knowledge of cause. Suddenly, without knowing very well how you got to that, you find yourself immersed in a whirlwind of preparations you can't run from.
That the dress (in my case, model imposed by the school which caused us a great problem), the headdress to match, find the shoes (with anticipation of the growth of the foot), choose the flowers, hire the photographer, organize the banquet , the hairstyle, the decoration, the reminders and I am sure that I leave some detail. (Oh, and dressing the sisters, which is no small thing). What a stress! When the day came we were all exhausted with the communion issue
We had a small celebration at home after the ceremony, but most families had hired banquets in restaurants and some had even hired a bus to transfer church guests to the banquet. Yes, as at weddings.
Gifts deserve a separate chapter. From the classics such as a tablet or the first mobile (the most desired), to consoles, electric scooters, and the most fortunate, a trip to Disney. Since when are gifts, and such gifts made, for celebrating First Communion? Is it not, at least, paradoxical? My best gift was a gold cross that I still have.
In Babies and moreOnce original gifts to give in First Communion (which are neither tablets, mobile phones, or consoles)How much does a communion cost?
The expenses of a communion are no small matter. Although families move away from the church and other liturgical feasts have descended, the communions resist. In 2014, there were more communions than any other religious celebration in Spain, and according to a study prepared by the KPMG consultant for the Episcopal Conference, the communions generated that year 589 million euros.
According to the Federation of Independent Users and Consumers, (FUCI) families spend an average of two thousand five hundred euros in the communion of your son or daughter (of course, you can also spend less). For its part, in Andalusia, the Consumer Union of Andalusia (UCA-UCE) places the average cost at four thousand Euros But in some cases, depending on the preferences and the number of guests, the expense can reach eight thousand or ten thousand euros. To the point that there are parents who request credits to meet the expenses of the celebration.
As for the banquet, which is the main expense, Maribel Cabrera, owner of Best Events, a company that organizes this type of party in Madrid, explains: "Before the crisis, 100 euros were spent per person on food, as if it were a wedding. Now they can be pecking menus of 30 to 40 euros and that money is spent on animation, which costs between 500 and 1,000 euros. "
If you also add extra elements such as a photocall, inflatable games, workshops for children, animation, magic shows or a mini disco, the budget for a standard party of 50 people easily shoots at 5,000 euros.
Although today on average no more is spent on communions than what the families spent ten years ago (we have to clarify that the expenses before the crisis were other) and that the gifts of the communions were always substantial, the paraphernalia of the opaque celebration (or in this case it would be more appropriate to say dazzles) the celebration itself, which is really important for the child and the family.
Not good for kids
In full organizational whirlwind, the parish priest brought us together to the parents to highlight the importance of the sacrament and remind us that First Communion was not the feast itself. He asked us to be austere in the celebration and that as parents we should convey to children the true meaning of it. It is assumed that all we were there, we did it by religious conviction and not as a social and consumerist event.
Religious issues aside, I think it is neither necessary nor good for children that a celebration be taken to such a level. It can be celebrated with much less, transmitting to children that The important thing is not the gifts or your party will be better the more it looks like a mini-wedding, but to celebrate it with those you love, either the First Communion, the birthday or any other party.
Rich Child Syndrome
According to the judge, an excessive celebration is harmful to children because "they will have everything they want without any effort." Of course we don't expect children to work to pay for the party, but we do that learn to value what they are given.
Many times the celebrations become a competition for who has spent more or who has organized the party more cool, and we accustom children to link the first with the second, when it doesn't have to be that way.
With this we convey that They can only be happy if they have everything, if we give them the greatest party or the most expensive gift. Relate money or give them everything they ask for with happiness is a behavior that is increasingly given and does not do the little ones any favor.
We run the risk of our children suffering from the syndrome of the rich child, and not because they are, but because of the concept of give them too much. The problem comes when our children are not aware of everything we have to do and what we have to deprive ourselves to make it possible.
Pleasing them in absolutely everything they ask for, whether we want them to have what we couldn't have or because we want to avoid a tantrum, is the most common mistake parents make. The bad thing is that most of the time we think that we are making them happy when in reality we are causing the breeding ground so that the opposite happens.
