Do you remember how you imagined motherhood would be before having children? Probably like many women, you were full of illusion imagining you pregnant and then with your baby in your arms. And it is that motherhood is undoubtedly a unique experience.
And like many other situations, almost without realizing it, we have idealized it a bit. That's why today I want to talk to you about the two maternity schools that exist: royal motherhood and idealized motherhood.
Idealized motherhood
If you do not have nephews or a friend who has been a mother, perhaps your only reference about how motherhood is is what we see in the media, call movies, television series or magazines. Currently with the use of social networks and the increase of celebrities who become mothers, for many women motherhood might seem rosy.
And it is not the opposite, but simply to see on Facebook and Instagram accounts of mothers with perfect photographs, houses IKEA catalog exits, the floor free of toys, impeccable kitchens, glowing white sheets and elegantly dressed children who seem be angels all the time, it is easy to create an idealized image of motherhood.
The way she looks at me totally feeling all the feels today. We went to Logans school and tried on uniforms for prep next year excuse me while I have a complete mummy moment Time you are such a thief… I cant say her uniform looks as gorgeous as these beautiful threads from @oliviaannkids though both girls rocking them and new to the store are mama shoes so in love with them. Im wearing this gorgeous set from @sundaystyler too which Im going to live in this summer, be quick to get your hands on it with my exclusive discount code for 15% off your Order. Just use code THEQUINNGIRLS at checkout… #mynameismama #motherhoodrising #motherhoodsimplified #motherhoodalive #motherhoodrocks #dailyparenting #onthebedproject #theweekoninstagram #instagood #instamoms #momofthree #momofgirls #myview #sisterlylove #fiblingmave #fiblingmave #familymave #fiblingmave #familymave
This kid has been asking for mini pancakes for a few days now… so I finally gave in this morning, tediously pouring and flipping about 50 pancakes for all of us. I was particularly proud of my pancake Pisa… but Ezra didn't seem too thrilled. Turns out he was thinking of "Minnie" pancakes. Not mini pancakes. Ya win some ya lose some right #whpmini @instagram
is trying to work out why his pants don't taste as good as they look… cute pants are from @flexilexi_fitness
Now, it's not about criticizing this kind of photographs. Personally, I like to keep accounts of this type because they are nice images to look at, they make me smile and they also serve as inspiration to take fun and cute photos with our children. But I am aware that what you see there are only small fragments of moments in which everything was in order and probably most of the time is not so.
The problem that happens with this type of images about motherhood, is that in addition to continuing to idealize it, it exerts a kind of pressure on mothers who it makes them feel that they are not doing things well because their life is not like those images, creating a feeling of insecurity about themselves and their ability as mothers, a result that they could see a few months ago in a study that we shared in Babies and more.
Royal motherhood
And how is "real" motherhood? Actually, there is no kind of motherhood that is the absolute truth, because each woman lives motherhood in a different, unique and special way. But there is definitely a huge difference between what we see in the media and the "real" life, far from any pose and day to day.
Royal motherhood is full of good and bad times, hugs and laughter but also diapers with explosive poop. In the life of a mother it could be said that everything can happen, because unlike what it looks like in those sweet Instagram images, children are unpredictable, especially at that stage where they are learning to know and manage their emotions.
How has he made THIS much mess. Hes only been awake an hour Hopefully a sign hes feeling better #sundaymorning #thomas #son #messyhome
I most definitely woke up like this. Ladies, WE FLAWLESS Also. Coffee and baby snuggles are the best way to start your day. Fact #wildernessgirlsdontbluff #wcw #realmotherhood #momsquad #motherhood #reallife #honestmotherhood #vulnerabilityisstrength #momssupportingmoms #momoftwoboys #postpartumjourney #honestparenting #momsofig #momsofinstagram #momlife #portlandmom #momlyfe #womensupportingwomen #nojudgement #thehappynow #gratitude #gratitudechallenge #novemberphotochallenge #momprenuer #risingtidesociety #babysnuggles #flashesofdelight #instagood #lovelysquares
SLEEP WITH A CHILD. Vicente has slept alone without problem since he is 1 year old and occasionally or when he gets sick he sleeps with us, but he has been sleeping in our bed for more than a week and although I love it hahaha it is quite uncomfortable as you can see in the photo . The same thing gives me something to take it out and send it to your piece but I also don't want to make it customary. What to do For now we have let you sleep with us, it hardly bothers you but… will you get used to it. I still think I have to take advantage of it because then he will be a rebellious teenager and will not want to talk to me hahaha. How did it go with you on the subject? Do you still have a karateka son leave me comments that I want to know everything ... #maternidarks #madreal #maternity realm #moms #crazycowclub #realmoms #momslife # humordemamá #influencer #digitalinfluencer #momquotes #funmom
In maternal life there are sleeplessness, tiredness, dark circles, disheveled hair, unmade beds, messy kitchens, stained clothes and toys that when we are stepped on make us writhe in pain. There are beautiful and beautiful moments, and surely there will also be situations similar to those of those beautiful photos on social networks, but most of the time motherhood is a beautiful and impressive chaos.
Let's keep realistic expectations
As I said, it is not about criticizing those beautiful photos, nor putting motherhood as if it were an eternal disorder in which our lives will never return to normal. It's just about reminding us that what we see in networks is not a reflection of reality nor dictates how our life should be.
Being moms, sometimes we fall into that bad habit of comparing ourselves to what we see elsewhere, especially when we feel we are failing in our role. We all have good days and bad days, days in which the planets lined up so that everything went perfectly and days when we stood up with our left foot.
Maintain real expectations of motherhood, which is an experience like no other and with highs and lows. It is a long way in which you live excessive joys, overwhelming worries, infinite love and deep sorrows, in which you learn to squeeze your abilities to the fullest, acquire new skills and also, it is something that keeps you motivated and exhausted at the same time.
Remember, you are doing well
Real motherhood or idealized motherhood, the truth is that each of us does our best with what we have. Let's not be so hard on ourselves, let's keep our expectations at a realistic level and recognize the work we do as mothers.
I think the best way to check if we are good mothers, is by comparing ourselves only with ourselvesWell, nobody else could do the beautiful work we do each with our children. Remember mom, that perfection does not exist, and clean house or dirty house, fixed or disheveled, you are doing well.
Photos | iStock
In Babies and more | What is behind the mothers who share more photos of their children on Facebook ?, Social networks can affect the confidence of recent mothers
