You just have to take a look around us to realize how much the family model has changed in our country in recent years. Traditional families with one or more children, now live with marriages without children, parents with children without marriage, single parents, reconstructed families, transnational families, gay couples with children ...
On the occasion of International Family Day we wanted to interview several of these family models, in order to bring you closer to their reality and particularities. Why all families are unique and wonderful!
A traditional family ... and very large!
According to the latest data from the Ministry of Health, Social Services and Equality, there are a total of 609,474 large families with the title in force, of which almost 70 percent have three children, followed by 11 percent who have four and almost Three percent who has five.
But Isis' family does not belong to any of these percentages, but is part of 0.6 percent of Spanish families with six children, which in their case are aged between 9 years and two months of life.
When I ask this mother blogger what the family is for her, and what she likes most about the big family she has built answers me the following:
"The family is that place where everyone is loved without conditions or reservations.. That love begins in the parents, who give each other totally, giving their whole life and even the person himself to the other. This dimension of love is also transmitted to children, since they are welcomed for being who they are, not for meeting any quality standard or for having certain qualities.
"In the family you learn to be fully person, to see others as an end and not as a means, to suffer and rejoice for the other, to seek the common good and not only their own, to love the one that is different and do it even when it hurts or when things do not they come out as we would like. "
"Being a large family is wonderful and the heart grows larger with each new child. As my brother-in-law says, if each child is a world, we have a whole galaxy!""I never thought that I would have such a large family and I feel very fortunate for it. What I like most, no doubt, are the seven people who are part of it with me: each of them is unique, has a special and unmistakable personality. It's a world to discover and I wouldn't change it for anything. "
A family of three
In Spain there are approximately 2.91 million couples with only one child, and in this group are Marta and Raúl, who were always very clear that their family model would consist of the couple and a single child.
"The family for me is the basis of a full life, a nest of affection, affection, love, understanding and respect that sustain our day to day, as well as my support in the happy moments and those of difficulties""My partner and I decided, a priori, to have an only child and that has not affected the development or sociability of our child. And he doesn't miss having brothers. I believe that trust between the members of a family unit and a model of education based on respect are the basis and foundation for the family to stay "- says Marta.
Single parent families
According to the latest data from the National Statistics Institute, in Spain there are about two million single-parent families and in most cases The head of the family is the mother. This is the case of Montse, single mother of a three-year-old boy who already moved us a few weeks ago with his story.
To Montse, "The family is what one creates, beyond the blood ties". She He is especially happy with his family model, and when we ask him what would stand out of him he does not hesitate to answer the following:
"For my son, I am everything, I am special, and he does not need anything else to be happy. We are always together, we do everything together and we do not need more""What I like most about my family is the special bond that my son and I have. The complicity that unites us, seeing my gestures reflected in him, and the realize when I look at what I am doing, creating and forming"
Divorced parents with children
According to the latest data from the National Statistics Institute, in 2016 they were more than 100,000 couples who decided to end their relationship, through divorce, annulment or separation proceedings.
Of the couples that separate, 60% have children and in this group are Yolanda and her ex-partner, parents of a seven-year-old girl, who despite her personal differences They have decided to continue maintaining friendship for the sake of their daughter.
"We are both free to make our life separate, but when we are together for our daughter we are happy and she enjoys it very much. They are precious memories of her childhood that I hope will remain forever recorded""Although my ex-partner has a legally stipulated visitation regime, I I'd rather you see your daughter whenever you want, because my child has the right to enjoy her parents whenever she wants and without conditions or strict schedules established by a judge. Further, we try to make plans all three together some weekends, like eating out, going to the movies or going on an excursion. We also go on vacation together a few days a year and enjoy it very much "- Yolanda tells me.
Gay couples with children
According to the latest data published by the National Statistics Institute, homosexual couples in our country increased In 2016, two percent compared to the previous year. Of these, 30 percent are women, some of whom use fertilization or adoption techniques to become mothers.
This is the case of Jana and Vero, two women mothers of a child who bet on love and diversity, and who tell in their blog, "Oh! MamiBlue", and in their social networks how their day goes by.
"For me, family is everything. It's the place you want to be. It's home, it's peace and it's trust.""What I like most about my family model is that we have chosen it freely and out of love, and that I share my life with the person that complements me and makes me really happy" - explains Vero.
Reconstituted Families
7.4 percent of couples in Spain are reconstituted, that is, the man, the woman or both contribute children to the home of other previous relationships. In 71 percent of the cases it is the woman who contributes them, in 25.6 percent it is the man and in 3.4 percent they are both.
And in the broadest percentage is Verónica, blogger and one of the creators of the Association "Separated Mothers", and mother of three children, being the largest fruit of a first relationship.
"The family is what each one builds and models based on their reality and circumstances. For me, the family is the place where I give and receive unconditional love, the place that gives you and where you give refuge, and above all, the family is unity. In this case, I will tell you that we rarely go to separate sites. All our plans are always in family. We are a symbiosis of five. "
When Veronica separated from her first husband, her baby was only a month and a half old, and three years old when she married her current partner, father of her other two children. For her, that moment was especially emotional and refers to him as "a wedding of three".
"Because if the person who enters your life does not accept your child, in my view that relationship is bound to fail. And in our case, when we got married, we were always clear that it would be a wedding of three""One of the things I like most about my family is to see how my husband has adopted the role of father with my oldest son. And I have always made it clear that my oldest son and I were an indivisible pack. And see how that has never been a problem, but quite the opposite, at the level of a partner is a very important reinforcement. "
Transnational families
The recent economic crisis has forced many families to separate in search of job opportunities outside our borders, giving rise to a family model known as "transnational".
This is the case of Alejandra and her husband, parents of three children, who they had to separate for work reasons after four years of economic uncertainty because of unemployment.
"When I got pregnant with my third child, my husband came up with the possibility of working away from home for long periods of time and that's how we started living apart. It was a very hard stage, because I lived the pregnancy alone with two small children, I gave birth alone and faced a puerperium without any help. "
"Two years later, he was given the option of leaving definitively outside of Spain, thanks to a very good job opportunity that meant an important change for our family economy. But this new model of life also brought separation from our family: he in Edinburgh and my children and I in Spain.
Now, almost four years after having lived apart or seeing each other from time to time, Alejandra and her children have moved to live in Edinburgh and his family is together again and united again. When I ask this mother blogger what positive aspects I would highlight from the experience, she does not hesitate to answer:
"But without a doubt, the most positive thing that I would highlight from this separate stage is how self-sufficient and autonomous my children have become, how much they get involved in the operation of home and family, and how they play, support and take care of themselves. to others""Since his father was not present, I had to be father and mother of my children, getting involved and being 100% present and 24 hours a day. And that has made me develop skills and abilities that I never thought I had. Now I am very farsighted, and I anticipate problems before they occur. I have also generated a great capacity to resolve conflicts, and I have become very organizational "
In Babies and More Times change: 42.5% of babies are born to unmarried couples, single-parent families want to match the many in tax benefits, Yours, mine, our (but no messes): Guide to reconstituted families, Gay parents
