There is a very funny thread on Twitter of a father who recounts when his six-year-old daughter confesses that he likes a child, that he loves him and that although they "have not yet" kissed on the mouth, other schoolmates of his Age they have.
It is normal that as parents we hyperventilate and we are attracted to the food when we realize that, suddenly, our little angel who is just learning to read, thinks about kissing in the mouth with another child. It is normal? How should we react if we see ourselves in that situation?
Why do children kiss on the mouth?
Although it scares us because we see it as something "of older", it is normal behavior among the little ones. They imitate what they see older people do on TV, on the street, or parents at home, but they don't do it with the same intention that they have a kiss on the mouth for adults.
When two children of the same age kiss in the mouth they are not doing anything wrong. They do it from innocence, from curiosity and it is a natural part of their affective-sexual development. The psychologist Mamen Jiménez, points us:
"The kisses of children do not have the sexual and erotic component that it has for us, adults, and that is very important that we have it clear when assessing these behaviors."
A show of special love
For children, kisses in the mouth They are a show of love for a special person.
"Think about what your partner and you are doing at home, what is the model that your son is having about it. Most likely, he has seen you kiss, so he will understand the kiss on the mouth as a sign of affection for a person who is important to us. "
Just as we kiss them (sometimes in the mouth), we hug them and show them our affection, when they begin to interact with other children we are no longer their only referents of love, and special feelings towards their peers begin to emerge.
And although with four or five years (even with twelve) come to tell you that you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, do not panic: it is not a relationship as we interpret adults.
It is also important to note that if our son or daughter kisses our mouth and we allow it, it does not mean that we are promoting future sexual precocity. Since they are young they are curious about it and it is normal for some children to have stages in which they explore their sexuality by kissing with other children, or even touching.
How to react as parents?
First, it is positive that our children feel they can trust us and tell us. Secondly, we must think that if we get angry we are sending them the message that they are doing something wrong. And as we have commented before, it is not.
If we scold or forbid it, we will only get the next time not feel confident to tell us their intimacies, or lie to us, and over time, both things will end up affecting communication with our children.
What we can do is accompany them at this stage of their development, without judging and sending normal messages. Nor is it necessary to encourage them, but to maintain a comprehensive attitude.
"Without being invasive and without making it an event (it is better to educate on a daily basis, through play, conversations or natural situations) it is convenient to explain, for example, that they should not force another friend to give them a kiss if he doesn't want to, that he must respect others always ... "
We must also observe some influences that our children can receive. There are children who, because they are more exposed to certain television programs, YouTube channels, or some children with cousins or older siblings, may show an early interest in these issues.
As parents, it is important that we control that what our children consume is according to their age of development to avoid "burning stages" and live their childhood with the innocence of this stage.
When should we worry
- If the child is forced by another to give kisses in the mouth, or to do something he does not want.
- If the age difference between children is very wide (say more than five years), since the stages of development of sexuality are different.
