Men have always been fathers but have never given birth or breastfed. Parents can participate intensely in living pregnancy and childbirth, but in the lactation His role is less active, but very important as we will see.
Therefore, if you are going to be a father and want to help breastfeeding, you can help a lot. He man You can participate decisively in making it a success. All this, which is now explained, when my son was a baby I would have liked to know how to express it, but I didn't know the words. Now I have learned to explain myself.
It's normal for dad to feel displaced and bewildered with the huge love bond that is born between mother and baby. Feeling like this is not bad, it is normal. But we are adults and it is time to discover that paternity also changes the person who was previously a young man without so much responsibility.
Faced with the new situation and the loving self-absorption of the mother, being enraged by the secondary role that she now occupies in female emotionality or because she cannot “do anything” in breastfeeding, they are not mature options. The father is now very important. It will also grow and change in the puerperium and lactation. What you do now will be decisive for the family.
The role of man in the breastfeeding and the puerperium It is not giving bottles, nor is it more useful or more attached to the baby when he grows up. The father can and should take care of a very important role, caring for and ensuring that the mother-son dyad bond and breastfeeding are built without interference.
Is the guarantor of your safety and you have to prepare that calm, protected and comfortable environment that the mother and the child need. It must be the wall that avoids excessive visits, annoying advice or discouraging comments. That he is informed and aware is as important as the woman being prepared. Above all it is the emotional support of the woman, who in those moments can feel insecure and scared, even depressed. Her hug, her listening, knowing how to ask what she needs, all that can be decisive.
The work that the mother now cannot do at home should be assumed by him because it is much more important and exhausting to raise a newborn. If he does, he is helping breastfeeding get ahead, because the woman now has no time for anything else. The mother is also a newborn being and it is in him who hopes to find the bulwark to help her.
The father must also learn about breastfeeding and about the possible problems they have, and be the one who supports the woman so that they both go to a breastfeeding group. It is convenient to do it even before delivery and afterwards, also if breastfeeding develops smoothly.
The man, despite not giving bottles, can do many things: wash, iron, tend, buy, cook, clean, change diapers, store things, care for older children so they do not feel alone, bathe the baby, lull it , give her massages, sleep in her arms or in a pareo when she wakes up, provide the mother with all possible rest ... her role in the success of breastfeeding is enormous.
I know a father who explains his role like this: "I do not have to wake up to breastfeed and I do not attend to my son when I am at work. But what the mother does is irreplaceable, nor can I substutuate her now. But yes I can make this period a paradise for her and my son. And I'm going to do it. "
It is enriching, I assure you. Assume these tasks, so that man can feel part of breastfeeding. But above all, it may depend on him that his partner and son are happy. It is a challenge but surely you can assume.
