One of the most desired dates for the children of half the world is inexorably approaching (and for some adults too, let's recognize it).
The arrival of Santa Claus and the Magi has brought time to this part, in addition to illusion and the occasional headache for those who give away - because there are toys that even the Kings themselves find - an intense debate: Is it better to tell the truth or keep the fantasy? If you are one of those who are not sure about it, we leave you some thoughts and opinions of experts in this regard.
In recent years (and perhaps also before, but there was not much talk about it) there have been many who have questioned the benefits of convincing children that there is one (Santa Claus) or three (the Magi) magical beings They bring you presents at Christmas.
There are those who have gone further and even put on the table the idea that this, in reality, is to lie to children, and therefore It could have negative consequences for its correct development.
With an opposite position we have who defends this tradition as a nice way to fan the fantasy in children, to encourage illusion and make them even happier.
In Babies and more19 children's stories to talk with Christmas children and their traditions
What does science say about it?
Who is right? Is it better to keep these figures or should “not tell this story” to our children? I would love to give you an answer about it, but the truth is that there is none: We do not have studies that support, with total security, neither option.
That is, there are no studies that clearly indicate the benefits or harms that our children "believe" or not in Santa Claus or the Magi. What does exist is the opinion of some professionals, but even these make it clear that there is no "unique truth" about it.
Perhaps one of the most cited studies when we talk about this topic is the one that was conducted from Lancet Psychiatry: its authors drew the conclusion that not telling the truth to our children about Santa Claus or Santa Claus was to lie, and that that lie It is undoubtedly pernicious to them (affects attachment, among other things).
In Babies and more, can childhood attachment affect our mental health in adulthood?However, it is a study from which no generalizable conclusions can be drawn due to the small sample with which it was carried out (among other methodological factors).
Maintain tradition vs. telling the truth
Starting, as I was saying, that there is no "absolute truth" about what is best for our children in this regard, let's see some postures About both options.
Tell the truth / don't lie
For authors like D. K. Johnson (American philosopher known precisely for maintaining that it is better to "not lie to them") the best option is to tell the truth. This author defends that the belief in Santa Claus or Santa Claus is not only not positive, but also has negative consequences.
According to Johnson, with this lie we are putting our children's trust in us at risk: If they discover that we have lied to them in this they will begin to question themselves in what else we lie to them, and with that they will end up undermining their trust in us.
This, according to this author, would have dire consequences if we consider that they might doubt our word regarding risk behaviors, for example.
Also, and following with Johnson, with the lie we favor the credulity of our kids, which would make them more vulnerable to being manipulated.
One of the great arguments against making our children believe in Santa Claus and the Magi is not the belief itself, but the use made of it: use these figures as guardians and judges of the conduct of Kids.
Unlike the pros or cons of "lying or telling the truth" at this point there is agreement between professionals: blackmail is never a good educational option. So you better banish "If you don't behave, the Kings won't bring you anything."
Authors like Richard Dawkins argue that instilling children that there are supernatural beings is pernicious to them and that we must favor their skepticism.
Disciplines such as the Montessori method do not accommodate these figures since, from their theoretical perspective, the important thing is to favor in children the imagination (internal) not fantasy (external).
Explicitly deny their existence to the kids?
A common position among those who defend the suitability of not lying to children in this regard is that of, contrary to what many think (those who see them as "grumpy that take away illusions" - allow me the expression -), is not "prick "The illusion or deny" the tradition of gifts. "
In Babies and more19 children's stories to talk with Christmas children and their traditionsAmong those who practice the "politics of truth" it is common not to deny the existence of Santa Claus or the Magi explicitly to children, but talk about them as fictional characters, putting them in the same category as their favorite TV characters or stories.
The key is to explain to the kids that it is a tradition, a playful party in which great things happen: that way they would maintain the illusion for the holidays, for the gifts, for “the magic” without going through “lies”.
Keep "the magic"
Most of the studies on this topic have focused on the possible negative effects of "telling the truth" or not maintaining the myth, but not on the possible positive effects of it.
Therefore, there is no scientific evidence that "it is beneficial to believe in it" so the common conclusion, at least for now, is that we don't know if "believing in Santa Claus and the Magi" is positive, but certainly not negative.
However, for well-known authors such as Álvaro Bilbao, maintaining the magic of Santa Claus or the Magi has its positive points for kids. Some of these would be:
- Develop patience: imagine how complicated it must be for a child to endure a whole night (for them this is an eternity) waiting for it to be daytime to see their gifts. It is certainly an exercise in patience.
- Learn to manage strong emotions: Getting to sleep the night before with such excitement for what will happen the next day requires, without a doubt, an exercise in emotional management, don't you think?
- Keep the illusion: There is no child who does not hallucinate with this whole story, right? Their faces are those things that parents are going to remember forever.
On the other hand, and in response to statements such as those made by authors such as Richard Dawkins, cited above, there are those who point out that precisely the fact that children discover that we have been lying to them can make their skepticism develop more or better.
This will make things question, that they want to investigate and know the truth in other facets of life, so that with this we are favoring critical thinking and the desire to learn. Of course, this can also be done without resorting to these "magical" figures.
In fact, studies such as the one carried out by J.D. Woolley and M. Ghossainy at the University of Texas indicate that children are naturally skeptical.
Woolley points out that maintaining this fantasy helps develop reasoning (specifically the counterfactual) and that this is really positive for development. According to this author, the skills necessary to "believe" and subsequently "discover the truth" are the same as those put in place to, for example, seek solutions to problems or be creative at work.
Others, such as Matthew Lorbe, American child psychiatrist, defend the positive aspects of maintaining the illusion and tradition from a more practical and everyday approach: maintaining tradition favors family social processes and thereby strengthening emotional ties, children strive to learn to write in order to send their letter, learn how the postal system works ...
In summary…
As I said, there is no obvious position validated from a scientific point of view, so that we enter the field of preferences and beliefs.
If you feel more comfortable telling the truth from the beginning or if the arrival of the Kings has always been celebrated "in your house", and you want your child to live it with all its intensity, in principle there are no "contraindications" . Do what makes you feel good, what you think will make your child happy... In the end it is what we all want, isn't it? Happy Holidays to all.
Photos: iStock; Pixabay.com
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