It is a phrase that we are very accustomed to hearing parents when they ask us about our children. "And how is it good?".
As you know, I just became a mother for the third time and the question is the obligatory one every time I meet someone I know, and also unknown. "Congratulations on your baby, is it good?".
I understand that people try to be kind and interested in my daughter, but I can't hide that I find quite shocking to ask me if a child is good or not, especially when we talk about a baby of two and a half months.
What do they mean by being good? The question is usually completed with a "Does it let you sleep?" or a "cry a lot?", as if a newborn baby was bad for waking up at night or crying too much.
One puts his best face and answers: "Yes, it is very good". I guess there will be those who answer: "No, it's not good, cry all night", but come on, I wouldn't even think that my baby is not good, or put another way, that it is bad.
To say that a person is bad is strong. We would not say that our husband is bad, nor our sister, nor our mother. Why do we ask if a baby is good? There are those who will find something in my mind, because unfortunately it is a phrase to which we are accustomed. It doesn't sound bad to us, we don't consider it offensive. Unlike.
I have two different theories about Why do people ask you if your child is good? The first is that there are people who believe that a baby is bad for crying, for waking up at night or for wanting arms. They are probably the same who think that a child who tantrums or ignores is a bad child.
The second theory, and I hope the most frequent (I don't want to think that the people around me consider a baby to be bad), is that they ask the question wrong. Actually, they haven't thought for a minute what they are asking. It is a common place, a frequent use. What they really want to know is if the baby cries a lot, if he eats well or how much he sleeps at night. So it would be better if they asked him directly with those words.
Now, for those who believe I am a freak and want to know if my baby is good or not, I answer them. He has not robbed any bank, he can barely babble; He hasn't killed anyone, he can barely move; he wakes up at night because he is hungry; cries when she feels alone or when she has gas; He vomits when he has snot and eats very well. Thanks for asking.
