What is the secret of our children's happiness ?; This is a concept that many believe abstract and almost impossible to define, and yet it is enough to think in someone satisfied and calm with their daily lives To think that you really are very close to being happy.
Now there is another question: do we think about the happiness of the children? Do not tell me that without thinking, do we really do it? You are not going to believe it, but there have been times in which children could imagine using only their brain, and in those who played hours and hours in the street without anyone directing them. At that time the parents were always to prepare the snack, heal wounds and repair souls damaged by the cruelty of a child who crossed the path of their children, for others ... they didn't overwhelm children with hours full of activities, rigid plans, and educational activities arranged with great care (and maybe not so much love for children).
It was not necessary a father or a mother always willing to help with homework, because when the time came the child could easily finish them because he was not saturated. Many of those children went far in life, because when the time to play over the years had ended they understood that it is necessary to strive to get things done, and they began to learn all the other things that the school does not teach but they were going to be necessary.
Fathers and mothers complain about the work that children give, and we congratulate ourselves for being so tidy, we presume because 'last year was the first in the skating exhibition', and because 'the level of English he has is third of THAT (look what a list that is my girl who only goes to Primary room). ' And of course We think extracurricular activities are necessary: one responds to their interests (although we have not asked), another is imposition (because languages are important), a third is because they say on TV that they should play sports, and the remaining days must read a mandatory hour. Professor says it is necessary to make some progress.
That is not thinking about your happiness
Before the children had no distractions related to technology, so the source of adventures was inexhaustible, now do we believe that television, computers and consoles steal that precious time that leads to happiness? Surely not - provided your Use is rational and allowed to share with friends -. The really insane situation occurs when replacing the hours of freedom there is a plan designed to the millimeter for each child, and when replacing the mother who repairs souls or the father who puts the band aid, the children find a screen that shows stereotypes away from reality, about which he can not talk to anyone.
Katie Hurley is a therapist specializing in childhood and a parent trainer, the truth is that she didn't have much interest in sharing her article (don't ask why), but yesterday she talked with a good friend and coach, about the convenience of limits - whenever do not be rigid and do not limit - in the lives of children; Y about the lack of happiness due to excessive planning in some kids around us (She is also the mother of school-age children).
What does Katie tell us about the secrets of happy children?He tells us that they eat at regular intervals but that they are not obliged to wait long to fill their stomachs (what we call 'eating on time'); also that they have good sleeping habits and lie down more or less always at the same time.
Other secrets are playing without instructions and having the ability to make small decisions.. Happy children are allowed to express their emotions, and no one sends them to shut up because they cry or kick, in fact it is much better for everyone that situation to have to 'eat' the feelings so that no adult can label 'spoiler' parents. Of course: the expression of emotions should exclude harm to others. Of course our children should feel heard, really "heard", which is not the same as having to tell "how your school has been", if at that time you want to talk about "how I spent it when I went to My friend's house to play '.
By last if children feel unconditional love they are also happy: No one reproaches them or judges them, they let them make mistakes and they help them solve, they are told that they want to have 'what happened', and never criticizes love, but that it is compatible with communication about the consequences of behaviors.
Would life be easier if they got a little more happiness? Well, I certainly don't know, but Maybe our work as parents was more relaxed... a matter of expectations: it must be very stressful to believe that they should be the best, it is not so much to allow them to take charge of their time and their life, even partially.
