Are the children of the key an urban legend? We have all heard of them, and quantifying the dimension of this social problem (school-age children returning to a house where there is no one) is not an easy and pleasant task.. However, these days some information media have taken care of 'rescuing' a 2009 study, according to which 350,000 children aged six to 14 spent the afternoon on working days alone at home.
It seems to be an investigation by the National Commission for the Rationalization of Spanish Timetables, which also indicates that 70,000 of these children usually dine without any of the parents, and almost one million believe that their parents are little with them because they work too much. 'How exaggerated!' some will think; 'Well, why do they have children?', others will sentence. But the truth is that this reality exists, although I do not know if in the terms of the aforementioned study, and that it is not about blaming the parents, who surely would want to spend more time with their children.
If I start counting the children in my environment of those ages who have a house key and when they return at noon or in the afternoon they are alone, I soon take out ten children (and I have only thought about a couple of minutes); There are many more, of course, but those ten and others do not have in the town where other relatives who take care of them live.
I know eight-year-old children who return to eat alone, others who return home in the afternoon and connect to the Internet while doing homework until the first of their parents returns at half past seven or eight, and there are even those at Five approaches the work place of his father or mother to greet him and enjoy a fleeting contact as desired as scarce. I also know cases of schoolchildren who since they were 12 years old have had to take care of their younger siblings
So it is not the invention of anyone that there are 'children of the key', that we do not want to call them that, or that we think that alarmism is not necessary; but denying it will not improve the situation of those little ones. Do not tell me either 'when I was little I also took care of my brothers and nothing happened to us', because when we were children if we were not with parents, there was a grandmother, an aunt or a neighbor with whom to share the afternoon; now not so much.
Nor are we going to fall into the error of calling this phenomenon 'disorder', which are quite labeled as minors.
Changes in the social and family environment
Like it or not, social structures have changed a lot, and they have done it so quickly that have caused that there are children who for lack of reference values, or for having too many influences by the audiovisual media, seem to be growing too fast (Angel Peralbo told us in this interview). The children of the key sometimes happen, and when they get used to making their lives, and not asking for advice or permission from anyone at all, then it is difficult for them to accept the comments of adults.
Parents do what they can, and having a job today is no small matter, so in cases where you will not be present when children arrive home, there are some tips from the University of Parents, which help to continue exercising the educational function:
- (When choosing a school) Rate carefully the center where you will go. Remember that not everyone has the same class schedules or support services.
- Do the progressive change. Leave some keys in advance while you are still with him at home. You can test if you forget them at home, you lose them ...
- Give them higher levels of progressive responsibility in other aspects. It is essential if you want to be responsible, check that it can be in its basic autonomies.
- Make sure he knows how to solve problems and face difficulties. Even if you are, let him solve small difficulties every day.
- Be realistic about your physical and psychological abilities: does it take strength to open the door? Can you really take care of your brothers? Do you understand and anticipate the risks of your actions?
- Find a close person who can go quickly if something happens. * Help them organize time: homework, leisure, technologies ...
- Mark along with it some basic rules and guidelines of conduct and put them in writing in a visible and accessible place throughout the day.
- Plan how meals will be, the use of emergency money etc.
- Take advantage of the time you spend with him when you get home to talk and encourage fluid communication. How did it go? What problems have arisen? Have you been afraid? Do you feel lonely? It is important to know your feelings and feelings and give you the opportunity to express them.
- Do not forget that your educational responsibility is still there. Even if you don't see him much, define the limits and demand him to the extent of his possibilities.
In search of solutions
Solutions ?, buf !, a real family and work conciliation, support services such as evening schools or play centers, time banks (look for them, there are in many cities), and that we all dare to create natural communities in which the commitment of some to relieve families with difficulties in caring for children due to lack of time, and without conditions or expectations of reciprocity.
What we have now (and again it is not the intention of this entry to blame anyone), are children who watch a lot of television and are soaked in a hedonism inherent in some of its contents; some who access pornographic content online with less than 10 years; and many who instead of a snack snack eat a bag of goodies, or even having a sandwich in between, it has not been prepared by the hands of dad or mom, nor is it stuffed with cheese and wrapped in love.
By the way, speaking of snacks, it is not uncommon for children who spend all that time alone, that some kind of eating disorder ensues, due to lack of supervision
We also have parents who see them and want them to talk with your children from eight thirty to nine (dinner time), and they feel that they don't reach everything.
What kind of society do we live in that parents are not allowed to be present in their children's day-to-day lives? That is to a certain extent 'normal' does not mean that it is healthy or suitable for the growth of children. Will there be other mammals that let their young grow up alone before they are prepared to function in their environment? (In the case of humans this time limit is not before approximately 16 years).
As you can see there is much to reflect, so I observe around me, every year there are more children who are alone when they return, and there are even kids who, as they know that they handle themselves well at home, ask their parents to take them out of the dining room; that is to say it is an incipient and growing problem, that is why the reflection.
