By nature, and since before birth, a strong bond is established between the mother and the baby that grows inside her. For nine months he has been in his belly, since he is able to do it, the baby hears his voice and his heartbeat, and as soon as he is born there is a hormonal synchronization so brutal that the baby is able to crawl towards the chest of the mother to feed guided by instinct. The connection is indisputable.
But it is also true that the role of the father in recent years has taken a huge turn for the better. We see men who connect with their baby from pregnancy through caresses, talking to them, when they are born they practice the Kangaroo Method, carry, hug, and take care of another thousand ways to establish emotional bonds with their children throughout their childhood. With this introduction, I want to delve into something that is often commented on a lot: Do mothers have stronger ties with children than fathers? Well, not necessarily.
There are those who question the "maternal instinct" of the woman, that they have no greater attachment to a child than the one that the man can have, that everything is based on the experiences of each one and on the relationships established between the members of the family.
These experiences decisively influence the attachment relationships between parents and children, there is no doubt. A child who only takes care of mom and the father does not give him a good night's kiss will be more attached to mom; On the other hand, a child whose mother pays no attention to him or hugs him or kisses him or takes care of him will be more attached to his father. It is logical.
It's not a matter of competition, it's biology
We don't try to find out if mom or dad are more important to the baby. Both are, each in its own way. If we talk about the generality, of a couple that has the desire to be parents, in which both are involved since pregnancy, they turn to the care of the baby equally and share the responsibility of raising their children, both can establish equally strong ties with their children.
What happens is that the mother has a plus. The woman is biologically programmed to be a mother. It may have a more or less developed instinct, or it may be that for one thing or the other it decides not to have children, or that after birth it does not feel connection with its baby, but it is part of the feminine physiology that when generating and giving birth to a baby produce mechanisms in our body which generates a strong feeling of attachment to our offspring.
That wonderful hormone that makes us fall madly in love with our baby is oxytocin, not in vain known as the love hormone, which is secreted in large levels after giving birth, as well as during breastfeeding, and establishes the level of bonding between The mother and the son.
Men also secrete oxytocin
But here is that bastion is not only feminine. Oxytocin is not an exclusive hormone of the mother, parents also secrete it. There is research that shows that oxytocin levels in fathers reach levels similar to those of mothers when they interact with their babies.
In parents there is an increase in levels when caring for them, when playing with their children in an affectionate way, when kissing them. Dr. Ruth Feldman has led an investigation that has determined this, coordinating the work of Yale universities in the United States and Bar-Ilan in Israel.
That parents can be emotionally linked naturally with their children thanks to the production of oxytocin would indicate an adaptation in our species that makes it superior to most mammals, in which the male acts as a protector of breeding.
There are mothers and mothers ...
There are women who have given birth to children and do not feel mothers, there are mothers who abandon their children and many others who even regret having them. You don't love a mother just for being the person who has brought you into the world, she is loved for the care she has given you, for the experiences lived. So it is so that the adoptive mothers can manage to establish ties of attachment as strong as those of any biological mother. Or more.
There are also parents and parents ...
We say the same about men. There are superbly prepared parents to take care of the children, with and without the mother's help, and of course, many who do better than them. Just as there are also parents who are completely the opposite, detached from children and absent. Obviously, the way of raising establishes the level of attachment we have towards children.
Do mothers have stronger ties?
So, let's go back to the question at the beginning: Do mothers have stronger ties with children than fathers? Not necessarily.
We cannot generalize by talking about who establishes stronger ties because each relationship and each family is special, but to round off the matter, yes I think it exists a very special bond between a mother and a sonWell, women are biologically programmed to make it happen naturally after childbirth.
But this It does not mean that having given birth conditions an emotional bond for life indestructible between mother and son. The man, although he has not fathered and bore, he can also generate close ties with his children starting to build them from pregnancy.
