They are indelible memories that I have stored in my memory. Moments that although they have not always been easy, they have made me feel immensely happy, they have made me realize that being a mother is what I wanted most in life. What I enjoy the most and makes me feel full.
Motherhood is not a path of roses. There are fears, doubts, worries, tiredness, a lot of tiredness, but there are also moments of such happiness that they have even been difficult to describe. At Mother's Day I want to collect all those feelings in my best 21 moments as a mother.
For those who do not know me, I am the mother of three girls (11, 9 and 6 years old) whom I am going to call here "the first", "the second" and "the third" so that you don't get the names.
1. My first positive pregnancy test
Well, what about this moment? After wishing for a long time and having suffered a miscarriage months ago, that positive test brought me back to life. Out of fear of not having children. What I most expected in life had arrived. My little girl already believed inside of me. I felt happy, happy and accompanied.
2. My second positive pregnancy test
I did not expect it so quickly, just a month ago we had decided to go for the little brother, or little sister, and this time it came right away. Almost no time to react, and at that time with many doubts about whether he could love another child in the same way. Then I realized that love does not divide, it multiplies.
3. A crucial decision
In the first trimester of pregnancy of the second, the triple-screening test showed a negative result, with a high probability that my baby had an abnormality on chromosome 21. Fear, very afraid. I was recommended amniocentesis, but I decided not to do it.
At that moment, despite the fear I felt I decided that if my baby came with an extra chromosome it would be welcome. A crucial decision that I remember today as one of my best moments as a mother. It wasn't like that, but if it had been, today I would be the happy mother of a beautiful girl with Down Syndrome.
4. My third positive pregnancy test
We weren't expecting it at all. With how exhausted I was with two young girls (2 and 4 years old) and although I wanted to have more children, I had not considered it. But the craziest family was already growing inside me to come and make everyone's life happy.
5. The birth of the first
I could unify the three births, but each one has been so special and I remember it so well that it would be less important. Without a doubt, they have been the three most unforgettable and full moments of my life.
From the first, I have the image of her there wrapped in a cot next to me (I was not yet aware of the importance of skin to skin). She was so small, she was calm, she looked at me with one eye, the other had not yet opened it. A look that connected us forever. It was all worth it.
6. The birth of the second
The image of the second is that of just leaving me. Crying. To the shouts (it was always very weeping), all red and swollen. A lot of hair. Black. This time I was more aware of the process. They put it on my chest and immediately calmed down. He keeps doing it when he cries.
7. The birth of the third
I enjoyed the third childbirth. I enjoyed every moment feeling confident and calm. With her yes, since she was born I put her to my chest and there we were united forever. I didn't want to be bathed. They only took it for a brief review and returned it to me.
8. Now we are three
I remember coming home with the first one as very disconcerting. I was happy, but an inner voice of mine said, and now? What do we do with this baby?
It was that. Bewilderment. Getting used to a little person who needed me 24 hours a day. The first few days I showered two or three times a day to have a few minutes just for me.
9. The first ride with the first
Two days after giving birth we took our first walk. It was August, in the morning that is when it is cooler. I needed to leave home. I felt so powerful taking my baby to my chest. I carried it in a baby carrier, which was the first time I used it, it took me half an hour to get in.
10. Better with mom
The second newborn, the oldest two years. My dark circles reached the ground, I could not with my soul and decided to aim for a few hours at the guard. But she was not happy. I cried every time I left her. I also. She suffered and I did the same. I was very sorry.
On the third day I went to take her and again she was crying. He can't stand it. I went to class, took her hand and took her home. He did not return that year. She was the most fleeting student in the nursery.
11. All princesses, she pirate
The oldest was 5 years old, the last one in preschool. It was Carnival, all the children could go to school dressed up as they wanted. At that age all the girls were princesses, with their heels and crowns. Mine was a pirate, with his patch and his skull tattoo. I felt so proud.
12. Another little sister?
When we told the second that another baby was coming, she had such a beautiful reaction ... She is the sweetest of the three. He stroked my gut and spoke to the baby. "Surely she is a little sister." So it was.
13. When they met their younger sister
Months later, the first and second came to the hospital to meet the third. You can't explain what a mother feels at that time. I think there is not so much love in the body. They looked at her, kissed her, told her fingers ... A moment not to forget.
14. My prettiest flower
Third. The craziest and most expressive. Sing, dance, it's pure energy. An entire artist. A play in the school where he made flower when spring arrived. So edible that I thought it melted with love, I even cried with emotion. I know, I am very weeping.
15. See and feel the sea for the first time
The first was a year and a half when he met the sea. His face, his emotion at the immensity, the first contact of his round feet with the waves that came and went. Was so happy.
16. Four puppies
It took months, what do I say? years, asking for a dog. The parents are very doggy and they too. It was a matter of time that happened, but the day the dog arrived home I will never forget it. The happy faces of the three was a poem. It's ours? Does he stay forever? My four puppies.
17. “Fever, little house”
Weekday like any other. I wake them up at three to go to school and the youngest, who would be three years old (the school was just beginning) it was clear that she didn't want to go to class. With his best wet chick face he touches his forehead and tells me "Mom, I fever, little house." He conquered me. That day he stayed, of course.
18. Plugs in bed
It is not a punctual moment, it is one that we try to do frequently, especially on weekends. The bumpy moments in bed with all three are certainly part of my unforgettable moments as a mother. They fill my soul. For the duration I will continue to do so, until the chicks decide to fly.
19. Our dances
Another of the things we enjoy doing all four, besides the achuchones in bed, is dancing. We put music to the fullest and we shook like crazy. We love. We free ourselves. We sang. Unforgettable moments that I will also try to last as much as possible.
20. Our talks
I begin to realize that I enjoy the talks with my older daughters, especially with the first one. She is maturing, at the gates of puberty and the talks with her are deeper, more equal to equal. A complicated stage is coming, and I think our talks will help us to protect ourselves in the gale of adolescence.
21. Road to independence
The last moment I want to tell you is recent. A week ago, the first, which is already 11 and a half asked to go alone for the first time walking from school to a friend's house. They went together, about 7-8 streets. With my best beaten face I said, "Of course, I think it's great that you start going alone on the street if you feel ready." But I tell you a confidence: I followed them with the car without them noticing which secret detective. How hard it is to release them!
These are just a few moments, the most important. Or maybe the first ones that have come to mind, that I have been quite battered lately, so if they are there it is because they have been very important. I toast for all the special moments with the children, for those who insist on staying in our memory, and for all the good moments that will come. Happy day, moms!
