The saddest news that can be given to a couple waiting for a baby is that their child will not get ahead. These are terrible moments that many people prefer not to talk about because as a society we still have many taboos about it, and we still think that it is better to avoid these issues, such as hiding from it, as well as hiding the loss, and even the baby.
For many years, in hospitals it has been avoided that parents see their babies without life, explaining to them that it is the best, that seeing them will be very painful and that they will overcome it sooner. However, we now know that what parents may need is the opposite: knowing their baby, hugging, kissing, cradling, talking and have time to say goodbye.
That is what the couple we talked about today with the complicity of a Newcastle hospital did, take the time they considered appropriate. And is that they stayed with their baby 15 days, taking care of him as if he were alive, until they decided to say goodbye.
They were together as much as they wanted
As we read in DailyMail, Lynsey Bell, 32, went to the hospital after fainting and there they told him that his baby, Rory, would be born lifeless. A while later he began to suffer a hemorrhage that required urgent medical attention. He had a placental abruption and had to induce coma to operate and save his life.
Two days later, upon waking, he saw that his baby was no longer in his belly. He was still there, with her, and although at first he was afraid to approach, he soon realized that I had to try to spend as much time with him as I could before saying goodbye
In the hospital they promoted that contact, because they left Rory in a room with a low temperature so that her parents could enter whenever they wanted. And they had fifteen days to do it, while she was recovering, at a time when the couple decided to do the same thing they had done with their other three children: change her diaper, sing it, cradle it ...
They took pictures with him, they took pictures of his face, his head, his fingers of his hands, of his feet ... until after 15 days he was discharged and went out with Rory to take him home where he would spend his first and last night together.
That night they did everything they would have done in their first year of life: they hugged him in bed, read him stories, bathed him and put on pajamas. The family came to say goodbye to the baby, to say goodbye.
Buried next to his grandfather
Rory was buried next to his grandfather and Lynsey has kept a lit candle in a lantern, for his baby. A candle that will keep burning as long as you can, as long as you feel you should.
A tough decision
It is likely that for many fifteen days it sounds like many days. Many days with a baby who does not react, who has no life. However, for some parents waiting for his birth, who had already named him and who they already had four children in total, fifteen days could be very little. Only fifteen days to meet who was going to be your little son, who was going to take all the pampering, who was going to be more spoiled, who would be raised practically only because he was going to learn from everything they were going to teach him The three eldest.
Much? Little bit? Does not matter. I can only say that it seems like a great solution on the part of the hospital to offer a family that has suffered such a painful loss the time to meet your baby, and enough margin to to say goodbye without the feeling that he could barely be with him. Many parents live, unfortunately, with that feeling: that they did not see their baby and would have liked to see him, or that they only saw him for a few hours and would have wanted to see him a little more. The pain? Of course it hurts. Much. But in the end the important thing is that parents feel that they have made the road without pressure and that they have been able to give way to their feelings and emotions. Fifteen days it's just the beginning, actually.
In addition, they are the fifteen days it took the mother to recover to be able to leave hospital. I imagine that from the hospital they thought it would be much more painful for her to stay admitted for so long recovering from childbirth, from an emergency intervention, without a baby to hug.
Photos | Alice McIntyre on DailyMail
In Babies and more | The exciting words of the nurse who embraces a lifeless baby, The sad but beautiful story of the baby who was born to die, Dead born babies are entitled to her name
