One of the biggest griefs for incarcerated people is the limited physical contact they have with their loved ones, the inability to kiss and hug them at any time, especially when it comes to fathers, mothers or grandparents. After all, the children are not at fault but they become indirect victims of the situation.
To claim that right, Kimberly Hricko, a grandmother sentenced to life imprisonment has written an emotional letter published a few days ago in the Washington Post newspaper. In her asks the center where the possibility of touching her newborn granddaughter is held, as well as other mothers and grandmothers may also have physical contact with their children and grandchildren.
What fault do your children and grandchildren have?
Kimberly was convicted in 1999 for the crimes of murder and arson, for which she is serving a life sentence in the state prison of women in Maryland (United States).
Due to a new prison policy, kisses and hugs with visitors are prohibited. They are only limited at the end of the visit, and when this happens you can only give yourself a quick hug and a kiss, only on the cheek.
The authorities say that it is for security reasons, to avoid smuggling between visitors and inmates, but the measure is devastating for inmates, victims of a system that undermines personal relationships and dehumanize people.
Ok, they committed a crime and are paying for it, but What fault do your children and grandchildren have? The little ones need the love of their grandparents, they are an important attachment figure for children, and no matter how short the time they spend together, it will be worth it.
The letter of a damned grandmother
"I am the prey, why also punish my granddaughter?"
I met my granddaughter for the first time in the visiting room jail.
I have been locked up in Maryland Women's Prison for over 18 years, since my daughter was 8 years old. In May of last year, he came to visit me with his first newborn daughter. I was overwhelmed by the emotion when he placed the baby in my arms. I cried while carrying my granddaughter, gave her the bottle and smelled her wonderful baby smell. It was a very significant moment.
Unfortunately, now it's just a memory. Due to the new rule, effective since November in the 24 prisons of the state of Maryland, I can no longer hold my grandchildren in my arms during visits. And what is worse, my fellow prisoners, who are young mothers cannot hug their babies and young children.
The new rule prohibits physical contact between inmates and visitors until the end of the visit. At that moment, we are allowed a quick hug through a wide table that separates us.
Inmates and adult visitors hate this rule, but at least their limitations are understood. Young children do not understand. Only a look at the expression on their faces can guess what they will be thinking: "First he left me. Now he doesn't hug me. Mom doesn't love me anymore?"
"The visits are heartbreaking," a prisonmate told me after seeing her son. He said his son calls the prison officer the "bad man" who won't let his mother touch him. Thank God, his sentence is short. You will be at home before your child turns 3 years old.
Another partner has not been so lucky. She is the mother of four children, serving a 20-year sentence for the sale of drugs, and recently received a "ticket" (a kind of part of the prison) because her 4-year-old son could not sit beside her. table. He has been visiting his mother, but he didn't know that the rules had changed and he crawled into his mother's lap, as always. (It is known that with four years the children do not understand obedience, and he did it twice). A correctional officer stopped the visit and wrote a "ticket," which led to a two-week cell seclusion - which means he was not allowed to leave his cell except for obligations such as school or work. . He could use the phone only during the day, when his children were not at home. All this, because his son got into his lap.
The justification of the new rule is security. It is known that some visitors smuggle in Maryland prisons. In an incident in September last year, a boy was caught trying to pass a drug packet to a prisoner in the Hagerstown men's prison.
Security issues are certainly valid. Our visitors, understandably, must go through a metal detector before being frisked and subjected to random drug detecting dogs. And we, the prisoners, accept being undressed after each visit. These searches are humiliating and intrusive, but they are the price we pay for an hour with our loved ones. Ending smuggling, however, should not require family ties to become collateral damage..
The bond between mother and child is one of the most important relationships in any person's life. Countless studies have shown that young children cannot thrive without physical affection. They need to be hugged and kissed. They need to feel the love. The children of the prisoners are no different.
Now, the Maryland Correctional Institution for Women allows mothers to be with their children in only two special events per year: Family Day and Children's Day. These events allow visitors and interns to interact outdoors, with activities, food, games and music. Unfortunately, the allowed number of visitors and the schedule of these events has decreased in recent years.
There is also a Baby program that offers the mother the possibility to see her children a few hours once a month if they are under 4 years old. The site is cozy and decorated for children, but very, very small. Less than 30 prisoners can participate in the program, although there are more than 850 women here who are entitled.
Meanwhile, I look at my daughter and granddaughter through the table in the visiting room. When they visited me last month, after driving almost 200 kilometers for three hours to be here the time they were allowed to visit, a correctional officer came to our table to remind us that we couldn't touch each other. My granddaughter tried to reach me and I had to take my hands away. My daughter, who dies from giving me a hug, let me hug the baby. He noted that it was the saddest visit he has ever had.
I understand that most people have little sympathy for prisoners. We have committed crimes. We have been condemned and receive the punishment we deserve. However, we are women. We are still mothers. Let us hug our children and grandchildren. They have not committed any crime.
