To be a mother for the first time is to enter unknown territory. Suddenly, you have to take care of another small miniature human being who is totally and completely dependent on you. And even if you had nine months to inform you (probably less, depending on when you knew you were pregnant) no book, blog or website prepares you for the real experience. This is something that is learned on the fly.
At first you could feel lost, doubt your abilities or even not have the slightest idea of what to do, because even if you have read the whole theory, the practice is very different. This is when your salvation comes in: the groups of moms.
They say that it takes an entire tribe to raise a child, but in addition to referring to the benefits that the child receives when living with different people, I consider that the tribe is also to support mom or dad during parenting. So I share you why having a tribe or group of moms by your side makes motherhood easier.
Only one mom is able to truly understand another mom
I name this reason first because it seems to me the most important. I do not make less of our partner or family, they can always help us. But Only one mom is able to truly understand what she lives, feels, suffers, enjoys and thinks another mom.
Our mothers and mother-in-law can also advise and support us, but sometimes the difference in age could make this not work very well. It is not the same to receive advice from someone who was a first-time mother more than 20 years ago than from someone who is currently living the same as us.
The tips are valuable because they come from real experiences
I love reading maternity blogs and websites. It is the environment in which I move, it is part of my work and it is something that interests me because I have found good advice to apply in raising my daughter.
But if you want real and tried advice, ask another mom. This does not mean that what they advise you is an absolute truth, remember that every mother, every child and every motherhood is different. But sometimes their advice simply works more or is more effective, because it is a mother like you living similar experiences.
It keeps you sane
Motherhood can become overwhelming. One day you can feel that it is like walking between clouds and another that you can no longer. That is why it is important to have women who know and share what you live, know that with just one call you can receive that message of encouragement you need. Talking to other mothers who also go through the same thing as you and who share these kinds of experiences, it helps not to feel that you are going crazy or that you are failing in this whole matter of being a mother.
It accompanies you in your "madnesses"
The word crazy things may not be adequate, but sometimes this is how other people see some decisions we can make as mothers. Especially when it comes to people who don't share or understand your point of view.
Having a group of moms with whom you feel comfortable and where you can talk freely about the things that interest you, such as parenting or education styles, can help you make that decision that makes you doubt.
It serves as a support for maternal crises
Breastfeeding crises, crises or growth spurts, tantrums, night terrors, setbacks in development or learning, and much more, are moments that put us to the test. Sharing them and supporting you emotionally during these stages helps them feel less heavy.
And the list goes on ...
The advantages of having a tribe or group of moms, whether in person or virtual, are even more than I can list in this article. My first year as a mother was difficult because I am the only one of my friends who is already a mother. I felt lonely, lost, even misunderstood because no one else lived the same as me. But when I was finally part of a group of moms, even my vision of motherhood and myself changed.
No mother should raise in solitude, and mom groups are a support that many of us need and thank. Since I have mine, I feel less lost in maternal matters and I know that I have a group of people that I can turn to for advice or support during a difficult or stressful time.
Finding a tribe is not something that happens overnight but it is possible to do it wherever you are. Soon I will share in another article how to find a group of moms when you are the only one who has had children.
Do you have or belong to any group of moms?
Photos | iStock
In Babies and more | Mutual support networks or "tribes": needs that grow during the school holidays, "Where is my tribe?": A little gem about parenting today
