Having children is an experience like no other. It brings us wonderful things, joys and we feel the heart overflowing with love. But part of the experience of being parents is also living and facing moments that are not always what we expect, such as a tantrum or tantrum.
What do we do before them? What is the best way to act before one? An image of a father and daughter during a tantrum has been made viral by the lesson that leaves us about fatherhood and patience.
Justin Baldoni is an American actor who is the father of a two-year-old girl named Maiya. The actor recently shared on his Facebook page an image in which he, his father and Maiya appear during a tantrum of the little girl in the supermarket.
In the image we can see how both men remain calm and silent while Maiya is lying on the floor kicking. The message that Justin writes and that accompanies the image is what has made it viral, because it reminds us of an important lesson about tantrums: our way of reacting will depend on how our children pass and ripen this stage of tantrums.
"Emily took this in Whole Foods. It is now one of my favorite photos of me and my father", is one of the lines that the actor says at the beginning of his message.
"Two men, standing together in silence, forever united by an unconditional love between them and this new soul, raw and pure, for which we would go to the end of the world. I can only imagine how many times I did this when I was her age. My father taught me a lot about what it means to be a man, but this post is about one thing only. Be comfortable in the awkward. Something that I grew up watching him do with me over and over again."
How many times have we not felt uncomfortable or observed when our children do a tantrum in public? No doubt there are parents who don't care much what other people might think, but also it matters how we react with our children when this happens.
"There are no perfect parents, but one thing my father taught me is not to exercise my fatherhood based on what others think"Justin continues.
"My dad always let me feel what I needed to feel, even if it was in public and it was embarrassing. I never remember him telling me 'You're embarrassing me!' or 'Don't cry!' It was not until recently that I realized how paramount this was for my own emotional development. Our children are learning and processing so much information and they don't know what to do with all these feelings that begin to appear."
It is at this point in his message that he reminds us of something very important that perhaps because of the pressure of time or where we are, we can forget: tantrums are not easy for us or for our children.
We can get to wonder why they act like this, why they don't understand what we tell them, why they do it even though we explain things over and over again. But This is normal and is part of your emotional development. They are the way they are learning to express their emotions and frustrations. Just as when they were babies, they communicated through crying, tantrums are a way of telling us something feels bad.
"I try to remind myself to ensure that my daughter knows that it is okay for her to feel deeply. It's not embarrassing for me when she has a tantrum in a supermarket or screams on a plane. I am his father ... not yours. We are not ashamed for our children. That is not reflected in you. In fact ... we should probably be friendlier and patient with ourselves too. If we express and take out everything we feel and allow ourselves to have tantrums and cry when we feel the need to do so, perhaps then we could also allow ourselves to feel more joy and happiness. And that is something that this world could definitely have a little more."
In addition to not only reminding us that tantrums are part of the natural process of evolution and maturation of our children, it also makes something clear again: what others think should not define the way we raise our children.
And it specifically refers to our not trying to repress or silence our children soon just because of what others may think or because they give us some disapproving look. Let's focus on what is truly important: support them through that tantrum, help them identify what they feel and why they feel it.
Something that a person noted in the comments and that like her I also loved is how nobody is watching or pointing. It is an image in which we clearly see the best way to deal with the tantrum of another child: without judging him.
Because not only does it matter how we react as parents, but also how we do it by being only spectators. Remember that although we know how to act in public, children are just learning to do it.
Let's avoid that disapproving look. For a child it can be a strongly negative message, and instead of learning to know and understand their emotions, they could begin to suppress them, instead of having a healthy emotional development.
The reality is that there will always be a child going through a tantrum or tantrum. Let's not judge parents, or judge ourselves when we are in that position. Remember to be patient and always keep in mind that it is only one stage.
How do you react to your children's tantrums?
