We tell our girls that they can be whatever they want, but then we throw them into a world where that is not true. We tell our children to be sensitive and respectful, but then we don't let them express their emotions. Feminism is necessary, and no, it's not just a girl thing, and yes, the sooner we start, the better. But, How to educate the little ones in equality?
Studies show the presence of gender stereotypes at an early age
In 2017, a study evidenced the appearance of gender stereotypes in girls of early, very early ages. The effect? Girls tend to consider men smarter than women and gradually become separated from fields such as science or technology due to the influence of these stereotypes. Terrible. For this and for many, many, many things, that is why we must end stereotypes, so We must educate in feminism. And no, not only to our girls.
According to the aforementioned study, girls between 6 and 7 years old are less likely to associate intelligence with female sex. These girls, in fact, thought that boys of the same age were smarter than they were.
A second study determined that slightly older girls also associate gender and intelligence, not feeling able to link with games described as "games for very intelligent people." However, the reality is that it is women who have more degrees and with better grades, as this study and other research collects. It gives thought, right?
How to educate children for equality
Do you know what is the best way to educate our children in feminism? Being feminist, impregnating our day to day with equality, normalizing it with our gestures, actions, games ...
I understand that this, said so, may seem abstract, so let's go with something more concrete.
Distribute the tasks so that both, dad and mom, do everything, not to convey the idea that women do such things and men such others.
Friends: let them see that dad has friends and mom friends, that we not only interact with groups and people of the same gender. For example, in the meetings of friends when we do that of “girls on the one hand and boys on the other”, what message are we transmitting to our children?
Eye with what we say: “That's from girls” or "That is for children" are sentences that often escape us and do not make any sense.
Long live the colors: why not, no girls colors and boys colors, colors are that, colors. And if the market is determined to make a difference for purely economic reasons ... let's skip those opinions!
Let him be who he is... and do what he likes: if he is a boy and wants to play great football, if he is a girl and wants to dress as a princess, great. But just as great is if our son wants to put on a tiara and our daughter put on some shoes to play basketball, more would be missing. Do not censor, do not condition, do not direct: accompany with respect. The filters are put by adults, not them.
Go ahead referents of both genders: history and current affairs are loaded with role models, both men and women.
Teach him that different is not bad: the differences enrich, in life there are no teams because this is not a competition.
Let your child show his emotions, because he has them. Enough of the rancid and harmful "the boys do not cry." Imagine the saddest day of your life, imagine the pain. Imagine now that they prevent you from showing it and that it prevents you from even feeling it. Children have the right to feel and express it, like everyone else.
And in this same line: let him cry, please.
Let's democratize care. Traditionally, care has been given to us… let's say “granted” to women, but it is a mere sexist and social issue: neither girls have an innate talent and need for the care of others nor boys are incapacitated for it.
No means no: This is a message that must be clear. In the game, when they interact with other boys, with other girls, they must be clear that they have to respect others and of course respect themselves.
Wonderful stories. Fortunately, we have more and more books that can help us in the task of educating in the sameness. ¿Examples? Good night stories for rebellious girls, Girls are warriors, the great collection "Once Upon Twice" by Cuatro Tuercas or The Princesses also farts.
Toys are toys: let him play with whatever he wants, children use toys as a learning vehicle, with them they acquire skills and advance in their development, so that censoring certain practices only impoverishes their baggage. Do not, the toys have no gender. Can you imagine associating a meal with a genre? What makes no sense? Well this is just as absurd.
Teach him to question gender boundaries and stereotypes.
Provide a good sex education, and do it from minute one.
Do not subject your daughter to the dictatorship of beauty over intelligence: Teach him to love himself for being as he is, help him have good self-esteem and not seek the approval of others to feel valuable.
All guidelines aimed at parents could really be summed up in one: we are their models ... so let's be a good example. Children learn from what we tell them, that is evident, but they also learn, and much, from what they see. This learning is also a depth and depth that we can not even imagine.
Many of us have internalized macho patterns that we put into practice without realizing it. Observe yourself, catch yourself in those behaviors and change them. Fatherhood is wanting our children to be happy, wanting a better world for them, and the best thing is that it also has an extra advantage, a collateral benefit: also It makes us better ourselves.
If you fancy more information you can see this interesting TED talk by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, author of "Dear Ijeawele. How to educate in feminism."
Photos: Pixabay.com
In Babies and more: Why do I choose to educate my male children in feminism?
The princesses also fart (Illustrated albums)
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Good night stories for rebel girls: 100 stories of extraordinary women (Other titles)
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The girls are warriors: 26 rebels who changed the world (Nonfiction illustrated)
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Dear Ijeawele. How to educate in feminism (Random House Literature)
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