The moment finally arrived. Yes, the desired event occurred in the family: the arrival of a new being, the birth of a little brother. For all, the presence of the newborn is full of sensations. But what about the little boy who, from one day to the next, became “the elder brother”?
The arrival of the baby can cause the jealousy of the son who until then had enjoyed exclusively the love and attention of the parents, especially when he is between 2 and 6 years old. At first, moms are sensitive and somewhat disoriented and dedicate a lot of time to the newborn; Thus, it is normal for the elder to feel jealous.
How can we help, from our role as parents, that this cluster of questions, doubts, intermingled and intimate feelings experienced by our eldest son, get an answer as simple and clear as possible? The important thing is to make the child feel that he is jealous, that he is part of the family and that, within his means, he can help in certain tasks of caring for his brother. By actively involving it we will be able to attenuate the feeling of rivalry that will awaken in him in front of the birth of the baby.
This process that involves the whole family does not have a specific duration, but is governed by the “internal time” of each one and how each family group resolves the conflict.
When the coexistence between everyone - parents and children, including the newborn - resumes its balance, they can enjoy the arrival of the new being and the joy of sharing the adventure of living with someone else. Some suggestions:
- Let me help you with simple tasks related to caring for the baby: pass the soap when they bathe it, move the stroller or cradle carefully and under the careful supervision of an adult, have it in the arms with the help, are some of the actions that the older brother can carry out and thus feel that no one excludes him from the family group.
- Don't forget that your oldest child still needs to have physical contact with you. He thinks that you will only be able to reassure him by showing him your affection often, showing him that you love him as before and that you have not forgotten him. Cover it with kisses and hugs whenever you can.
- Dedicate extra and exclusive time.
- Dialogue with him; Do not evade the answers sought by your questions and answer them truthfully and with simple words to understand.
- Make him understand that he is a unique being, neither better nor more special, simply different; Many parents choose to treat both children identically, without knowing that they only make things worse.
- Never threaten him with atrocities like “You'll see how things change when you have a little brother. The end of always doing your holy will! ” This type of cruel and foolish comments arouses in the child a feeling of hate that is not healthy.
