A co-worker congratulated the other day to a few fathers and mothers: “I really admire you and congratulate you because having children is a totally altruistic act. You receive nothing in return. ”
When I heard the beginning of the congratulation I smiled to consider myself alluded to, I am a father, but when I finished it, my smile remained in an act of absurd passivity in which I did not know whether to respond or how to do it.
Not that the comment needed an answer. For her, an adult woman who said that “I did not dare to have the first one”, is an opinion and as such I took it. In addition the congratulation was totally sincere and felt, so it did not generate any act of rejection.
I do not know what are the reasons that have formed that opinion and, anyway, I am not who to judge them nor would I ever do it, however my opinion is very different. In the eyes of others it is possible that parents often give (or give) a feeling of overwhelm or verbalize indirect messages ("today I have not slept, I can no longer", "that you want to start school", "I left him with his father for a while ”,“ we leave it with the grandparents and we go on a weekend ”,…) that incites us to think that we give more than we receive.
In my way of seeing, or my way of living it, it's totally the opposite. Agree that they depend on us, that the dedication they need is almost absolute and that there are times when it is physically exhausting and mentally exhausting, but if they asked me today if I would repeat the answer is yes, always yes (in fact the second one is in way and the third one is in mind ...).
Arrive home after work and see that your child runs to the door to see you arrive, tickle you and that between laughs you can only say "Dad, papaaá, coquías" (tickle), to hug your leg when something scares you, to raise a huge hug and a kiss because yes, to call you and also call mom so we can sit all three in her tiny armchair and a thousand other things that would make me write a doctoral thesis are too many reasons not to share that opinion.
Parents do a lot for their children, but today, at least in my case, it is I who have learned more from this father-son relationship. It has taught me to be a better person, And that is priceless.
