As parents, we are primarily responsible for the care, upbringing and education of our children. From dressing them, feeding them, to teaching them the basic things about life, their education depends on us. But also, One aspect that we should not forget is their emotional education, which begins since they are babies.
It is very important that we educate our children so that they are not emotionally illiterate, helping them to understand and manage their feelings, and the best way to do it is with our example. I'll tell you today why is it okay for your children to see you cry.
Mom, why are you crying?
I've always been a very emotional person, however, most of my life I hid my emotions and my tears, mainly for fear of the eyes of others and because I did not want to be labeled ridiculous or weak when I was in school or in public places.
In Babies and more "Don't apologize for being who you are," a mother's beautiful message to her daughter about being herselfWhen I became a mother, that part of me grew even more and eventually my high sensitivity floated. With the time and help of my psychologist, I understood that this emotional trait was a good thing and little by little I began to accept and understand it. But I still had a hard time allowing myself to cry, more in front of my daughter.
I did, of course, because I'm not stone, but always in secret. I clearly remember a day in which I had been attending therapy for more than a year, and during one of my sessions I told my psychologist that on many occasions I did my best to control myself so as not to cry. He asked me why, and I told him it was because some people thought it was ridiculous, and his answer was: "Y?"
And then nothing. That if I feel sad or want to cry I should do it and now. What is normal, be alone or accompanied. But despite that, I was a little hesitant to let my daughter see me cry, mainly because I didn't want him to be scared or worried about me. And because I thought that by doing so, perhaps I would no longer see myself as your safe or peaceful place.
Until one day I realized something: how do I intend to help you understand and positively manage your emotions, if I don't do it with mine? Children learn by our example, and crying is a natural way to deal with negative emotions such as sadness or pain, enough reason why we should allow ourselves to do it every time we need it.
In Babies and more 11 benefits of good emotional management for our children The first times I cried in front of my daughter, I noticed that she worried and didn't know what to do, except approaching and hugging. One day, when I was two years old and he saw me crying, he asked me: "Mommy, why are you crying?". I explained that I was sad about something that had happened and that crying made me feel a little better. He hugged me and remained by my side.
I want her to know that although our goal or purpose in life is to be happy and enjoy life, we are not perfect and we also have moments of sadness or anger, and that these are completely normal and part of our human nature.
Why is it okay for your children to see you cry
As parents, it is up to us to help our children manage their emotions from an early age and even though we want to protect them from negative emotions, we also have to show them how to handle them and what to do before them. I share some Reasons why it's okay to let your children see you cry.
To understand that crying is not being weak
For a long time, mainly because of sexism and some gender stereotypes, tears were interpreted as a sign of weakness. However, this is not true. Crying is having the courage and strength to recognize a negative emotion, and the first step to start working in a healthy way.
To know each other better and accept everything they feel
Within us there are a lot of emotions and feelings that we can experience. Seeing us cry our children will know that just as there are positive emotions such as happiness and joy, not everything is perfection and we also have some that are negative, such as sadness or pain. All are important and all are valid.
In Babies and more I do let my children cry (because I want them to be balanced children)So they are not afraid to show their emotions
If we pretend to be happy all the time or do our best to show a good face when we really want to cry, we are teaching our children that it is not good to be sad and that we must pretend that everything is fine.
This can be harmful to them, because it not only confuses them, but also, could make them begin to hide what they really feel, causing in them feelings of guilt and insecurity.
To teach them empathy
When we repress our emotions, we not only suffer them internally: we also isolate ourselves from others. Instead, Showing our emotions to our children is also a way of teaching empathy towards other people., by teaching them that sometimes others also go through difficult times, and giving them an example of how they can help or accompany when this happens.
In addition, when we cry accompanied, we not only show that sensitive side of ourselves, but also, tears help us connect with other people and strengthen ties We already have with our family and friends.
In general, crying is good for our mind and body, purifies us, desestresa and makes difficult moments lighter and more bearable, so let your children see you cry It not only shows you that you are human, but also, it is a great way to continue helping you to know and manage your own emotions.
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