I know that when you broke the news that your wife was pregnant, you told everyone "we are pregnant." I know that the weeks go by and you realize that, logically, the pregnant woman is her, and that there are times when you feel that things are not going with you.
We parents have a little bad because we do not feel the baby, we do not notice it and we really know it when it is born, with nine months of disadvantage with respect to moms. That's why, as you also say, we offer you, dad, some tips so you can get involved during pregnancy and feel it a little yours too.
1. Now more than ever, communication
You are about to live the biggest change that a couple can live (or one of the biggest), so It is very important that you talk about the subject. Tell him how you feel, what you think about the new baby, about the changes in the house and try to visualize your life with one more member, talking about the things you will do, how you see yourself in the role of father and mother, expectations in this regard, how do you think you will act, etc.
It is a way to begin to get involved in the decision-making process, to lay a foundation, to know you as fathers and mothers, even if you don't know it yet, and to start looking for points in common to raise your common baby.
2. Go with her to the gynecologist and midwife visits
Although she is the pregnant woman, she does not have to live the pregnancy in "loneliness." Take advantage of the moments when they will give you news about the evolution of the baby and its growth to meet them first hand. While there you can see your baby on ultrasound and hear his heart, you will see what professionals think about the changes that are happening and you will definitely accompany your woman at times that are usually routine, but sometimes become complicated if something does not It's going quite well.
It is important for her to be there whenever you can and it is important for you too. That way you will feel part of it all because, in fact, you are.
3. Change with her
Women, because they are pregnant, have to start taking care of themselves more than they did before, trying to eat as balanced as possible, quitting smoking if they did, not drinking alcohol (not a drop), etc. . If some of the things you have to stop doing, I shared them with you it would be good if you did it too for solidarity and respect.
There are many parents who do not quit smoking even when their partners make a tremendous effort doing it and, in a way, it is not understanding the reasons and having little empathy for a person, the couple, who has made a great sacrifice leaving tobacco.
Anyway, as the idea is to get involved, surely your partner sees you closer and sees that you are “there” with her, for whatever it takes, if you change with her. Surely, you also see yourself more "there", sharing pregnancy, almost as if you were too.
4. Form together as parents
Having a child is one of the biggest responsibilities that an adult can have. In spite of this, raising a child is one of the things that is least studied because it seems that, as it has been done throughout the life, feeding and educating a baby cannot be so difficult.
The fact is that anyone can do it, but doing so with information and with the assurance that you are going the right way can only be done if, in one way or another, you access that information.
Health centers teach preparatory classes, to which parents are also invited. They are not the typical kinds of breathe, inspire and exhale that we all have views in the movies, but they go beyond with various tips for pregnancy, childbirth and even postpartum. Go to them accompanying your partner and so you can learn together, solving common and individual doubts and asking why she says it is A and you say it is B.
If instead you want the information to come through reading, share books, read them both and talk about it, discuss whether it is necessary about things that are not clear to you or that simply seem more or less absurd (my first debate with my woman went after reading the "magnificent" book "To eat" by Estivill, for example). This way you both learn from the books and also learn from each other's experience.
5. Contact the baby
It's hard because it's inside your partner's belly, but you can try to reach him (or her). Touch her belly (but ask her permission first, of course), talk to her, sing to her ... so begins a communication that can become bi-directional at the moment you provoke some movement ("She is hearing you, she moves when you speak to her!" , they usually say).
As the weeks go by and the movements become more evident, you can touch parts of your body when mom has a lump somewhere. It is not like touching him directly, but it is the closest that you can be given the circumstances. And believe me it's not little, put your hand and notice how it moves in your palm is not little.
6. Make purchases and preparations together
Id together to buy the things that the baby will need, look at prices, look at models, look for which ones best suit you, your tastes, what you expect or want. Learn how things work so that the two of you are autonomous later when it comes to caring for the baby (and avoid the “darling, how is this done?” Continuous from who does not just learn how something works).
So you will also be four eyes, who always see more than two. A single person can choose an item, for example a stroller, based only on tastes ("they are all the same, this is the one I like the most") and in the meantime the other can realize that another model may be better ( "Yes, but in this one you can only sit in the direction of the march and we cannot turn it so that you can look at us ... not all are equal").
