Kissing children on the lips is for some parents as normal, while others can not help seeing it with some qualms, and even see it as a sexual act. It is something that does not leave you indifferent, that's why we wanted to talk today about the kisses in the mouth to the children.
Kissing is a sign of affection for children, something we love to do to parents and, in fact, we should do more. But while giving them kisses on the cheeks, the neck or the forehead is well seen, giving them little bites in the mouth generates reactions of all kinds.
The origin of the kiss
Before reflecting on the different positions about kissing or not kissing children in the mouth, it is interesting to know some aspects about the origin of the kiss.
The truth is the meaning of the kiss is different in different cultures and varies according to the times. For example, the Eskimos kiss by rubbing their noses and it is not strange in Russia to see kisses in the mouth among men (there is a very famous photograph of two Soviet leaders).
The kiss appears as an instinctive way to show affection and is given for the first time from the mother to her son. It is believed that at the anthropological level the origin of the kiss is thousands of years ago, when logically there were no blenders, and the mother chewed the food and passed it to her son by word of mouth.
From that nutritional act between mothers and children derived the expression of love from the kiss on the mouth. Even numerous interpretations seek the origin of the kiss in the impulse of sucking the baby, so it would be an expression closely linked to the relationship between mothers and children. Also remember that the mouth is in babies a primary organ of their relationship with the world around them.
It is also known that until the second half of the fourth century B.C., the Greeks only allowed kisses on the mouth between parents and children, siblings or close friends, that is, it was a show of affection reserved for the closest affections.
It was much later when in some cultures the kiss on the mouth began to be used as a sign of affection with sexual implications in relationships.
In favor of the kiss in the mouth to the children
On the one hand, there are those who interpret the kiss in the mouth to the children as one more show of affection, without any sexual involvement.
It is a normalized act in some families, especially in families with young children, although it is not strange in some cultures to kiss older children in the mouth.
Against the kiss in the mouth to the children
On the other hand, there are those who believe that kissing on the mouth may confuse the little one, which is creating its own categories of cultural meanings. How to explain then that kissing mom or dad's mouth is fine, but kissing a stranger is wrong? Will you also want to kiss your friends and teacher's mouth?
It is also believed that it can create confusion in the couple. There are women and men who are uncomfortable to see their partner kiss their children on the mouth. An idea of ​​possession of lips, as if the kisses in the mouth were exclusive for the couple.
It is seen as an invasion into the private space of children and as an unhygienic act because of the possibility of transmitting bacteria that lodge in the mouth.
My opinion about kissing children on the mouth
I don't think kissing children should be seen as a sexual act in itself. It is not. I think that everyone sees what they want to see, something similar to breastfeeding, there are those who incomprehensibly see it as a sexual act to breastfeed a baby.
I see it as one more show of love. Although I don't usually do it often and the times I've done it have always been private (I think I remember), yes I have ever given my daughters a kiss on the mouth. And nothing happens.
The fact that children can be confused, I do not think so, it depends a lot on what we transmit. Just explain that they are special kisses reserved for loved ones. They will not go to kiss a stranger in the mouth, or even to kiss him on the cheek, since kisses must be something that children give because they want, without forcing them. Nobody goes through life giving kisses left and right, and less in the mouth.
I believe that each family has its own codes and its own way of expressing affection. Kiss the children in the mouth It's normal in many families, some do it daily, as a way of greeting, others every so often, but as long as no one is hurt, I shouldn't be shocked, I suppose. Even so, it is something that culturally is sometimes frowned upon or shameful, and is also respectable.
What do you think, do you see it normal? Does it shock you to see other parents give piquitos to their children, do you give kisses in the mouth to your children?
Photos | Leonid Mamchenkov and Leonid Mamchenkov on Flickr
In Babies and more | Kisses are not asked, they are given away, Kisses to the babies of others
