TEEN SUICIDE, A HARSH REALITY: HOW TO DETECT ALARM SIGNALS AND HELP OUR CHILDREN

Every time the news of the suicide of a teenager (or a child) appears in the press, each case we know, puts the hair on our parents and fills us with fear and questions. What makes a young man want to take his own life? Would my son be capable of something like that? Do youWhat can we do from home to prevent it and detect the alarm signals?

The first and most important thing to tell you is that if you have the slightest doubt, if you notice that your child behaves in a strange way or you have any suspicion, please ask for help, go to a professional.

Often adults look with a certain disdain for adolescence: their problems, their concerns, seem unimportant, their excessive and uncontrolled behaviors ...

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But we must remember that teenagers are in full formation of their identity, of their physique, personality ... so this era is really complex. This does not mean that we should pathologize adolescence, but it does not stop any and give it the attention it requires.

In this maelstrom of development, with the pressure to fit in, with physical changes, insecurities or difficulties to solve problems (this capacity is essential as an element of protection) ... situations that lead to certain adolescents can accumulate consider suicide as a solution to their problems.

The data

According to sources from the INE (National Institute of Statistics) in 2017 suicide was the cause of the death of 286 people between 15 and 29 years.

In the child-youth population (between 15 and 29), it is the second leading cause of death behind tumors.

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Risk factor's

Previous suicide attempts (the more attempts, the greater the risk).
Low self-esteem.
Depression, anxiety problems.
Be very impulsive
Having suffered physical, psychological or sexual abuse.
Family history (that there has been a case in the family).
High levels of demand and family perfectionism.
Social isolation (not having friends or a support network).
Negative life events, such as a breakup of a couple, a move or change of educational center that have been experienced negatively or the death of an important person for them.

Warning signs

Verbal: negative comments about yourself or your future, not explicit farewells (You have always taken care of me, and I want to thank you ...) or explicit verbalizations about suicide.
Loss of interest in things he liked before and with which he was involved.
Isolation.
Consume of alcohol, drugs, etc.
Give away personal items of great value (material or emotional).
Farewells nonverbal, such as intense, unusual and sudden hugs.
Sudden closure of social networks.

What can we do from home to prevent it

Observe your mood and act if this is altered: we all have bad days, but if we notice that our child has been sad, aggressive, withdrawn for weeks ... we should not let it go (see a professional, seek help). Depression is, as I said before, a risk factor for suicidal behavior.
A good family relationship: family cohesion, "being pineapple" and having a relationship of trust is one of the "protective" factors against adolescent suicide.
Favor you have hobbies: Another protection factor is that the child has hobbies, hobbies that fill him. These types of activities make the mood good - in fact it is one of the practices in consultation in cases of depression - they favor feelings of self-efficacy, improve self-esteem ... And all this helps them to be better and therefore they protects.
No pressure: as I said before that they have hobbies is wonderful, but we should not press or demand results (for example in competitive sports), because then instead of something positive that brings in your life becomes a source of stress.
Good communication: You should know that he can talk with you about everything, even the most tricky topics, without feeling judged or questioned.
Encourage you to have at least one person of total trust in the family environment, and among friends.
Talk to your son: If you're worried, if you notice weird, if you think something is wrong, ask her. There is a myth that if we ask someone who is "considering it" in a way we "encourage" them to do so, but that is a myth. Talking with your child is essential for prevention since he can express what happens to him and he will feel that he is treated.
Yes verbalize Somehow your intention or desire to end your life, we must pay attention, talk to him, as I said before, and seek help. The idea that "who says it, does not" is another myth.
The pain is over: When teenagers feel bad they have the conviction or the feeling that this discomfort will never end, that this pain will be there for a long time, and this leads them to seek drastic solutions. Explain that everything happens, and that with our help they will achieve it is important for that feeling of "no way out" to fade.

Means

Free material to download

Guide for suicide prevention, prepared and published by the Association for Research, Prevention and Intervention of Suicide (RedAIPIS), together with the Community of Madrid: available for free download. Despite being addressed to the educational person, it is a good material to read as parents.
This same association offers a guide for relatives focused on suicide prevention.
Self-help guide on suicide prevention published by the Community of Madrid.

For thirteen reasons

Taboo topic even today, teenage suicide especially came to light in the wake of the well-known series "For Thirteen Reasons", which now comes with its third season not without criticism.

As it happened in its launch, some studies include an increase in the suicide rate among adolescents after the series premiere (and its successive seasons).

Specifically, a study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry indicated that there had been a 28.9% increase in the suicide rate in young people between 10 and 17 years of age in the month of the series launch.

However, it is important that we take into account that suicide is something really complex in which there are numerous variables, so that although there has been an increase in suicide rates after the series airs , this does not mean that it is unequivocally about cause and effect.

Be that as it may, there are numerous voices of mental health professionals who warn of the risk of the contagion effect on adolescents with productions of this type.

To avoid this kind of effects and turn series like this into tools in our favor, Eli Soler, a psychologist specializing in teenagers, in his review of the series points out that "Yes it is recommended that your teenage son sees it, but that he sees it with you".

This series, like any audiovisual material that addresses sensitive issues, is a great way to open dialogue with our children, it is the ideal foot to talk with them and know their opinions and positions on the matter. But we must ensure that it is able to understand the message we want to work with.

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Help

ANAR Foundation. ANAR Helpline for Children and Adolescents 900 20 20 10
RedAIPIS: Association, Research, Prevention and Intervention Suicidal Behavior.

Despite all of the above, I insist: please, if you think your child is having a bad time, if you have the slightest doubt that something could be happening to him: talk to your child, seek help and advice from a professional, don't miss it, it's important.

Photos | Pixabay.com