Well yes, I must confess, when I was little I was overwhelmed at Christmas, as I will tell you later. But when my son was born, things did not improve, and in large part it was the fault of those relatives determined to give the baby everything he should not eat. Therefore my third Christmas council I title: The Prawn War That adds to my previous tips to survive Christmas as a family.
Family meals can become a very unpleasant moment if we are continually pressured and criticized about parenting. And more contact and more people with whom we have little contact, more chance of problems. A habitual one is the food of the baby or the small child. It seems that nobody knows anything about infant nutrition, allergies or the pace of food incorporation.
Me Christmas advice Today will try to avoid or minimize damage when family members take advantage of these dates to try to get our child to eat things that do not suit him or that, directly, are not suitable for his age.
That habit of getting into our upbringing
You are very lucky if your family respects your decisions and parenting style. If it has never happened to you, you cannot imagine the burden of finding that, in each Christmas gathering, you will become the object of criticism, jokes and blackmails to your son for issues such as chest, sleep, tantrums or food.
And we go for the food. Christmas It's banquet time. It seems that the world was going to end tomorrow and that, if you do not burst eating, you are making them ugly. Adults can cope with it with dignity, but when there is a baby, contemplations are no longer worth so much.
Even if they are offended or green, the baby should not eat bacon, prawns, butter, or drink cocacola. If you are not of the right age and have never eaten it, you should not taste the fish, nor the fried ones, nor the Christmas sweets, nor the nuts.
Reasons to give the baby a shrimp
The least is that you have an indigestion, the worst, an allergic reaction. You don't have to be a genius to realize, I say, but it seems that there are family members who, for whatever reason, consider that you have to give them something that we don't want them to give them. There is no reason for a baby to eat prawns or anything else inappropriate even if Christmas.
Putting myself in the best, I'd say it's ignorance. Before, no doubt, he used to give food earlier than now. Come on, to give, the children at ten were given some wine and "nothing happened." If we admit that the only reason is ignorance I can be kind, but firm, on my advice not to give in.
But when parents make clear their food standardsIf the family insists on challenging them or denying them, I think there is a basic problem: disrespect as the framework of the relationship. And that's why we don't have to go through. You should not let them childish you or make fun of you, even if your parents or that famous great-aunt Paca does it for a year that you don't treat. Not one step back. Babies do not eat prawns.
If Christmas family meals are the time when more or less close relatives: parents, parents-in-law, brothers, brothers-in-law or uncles, take the opportunity to mess with you, question you, make fun or make offensive comments, it is time to consider what kind of relationship is the that you have with them and if it is a true enriching relationship.
In the end, the prawn war Damn things are going to reveal to you that sooner or later you have to see: if your family respects you or if you need to make the limits clear, with assertiveness or, ultimately, with antipathy, so that they respect you.
Strategy: clear limits to adults
The first strategy is to be clear. Many times parents, especially if they are young or first-time, need to mark their own space as family and competent adults. For fear of a disgust or a misunderstanding respect for elders, it is sometimes difficult for them to make it clear that the parents are them and that they will raise their children as they decide, just as the others did.
The later we make that clear, the more conflict and intrusion grows and the harder the confrontation can become. So do it soon so you don't have to be nasty. It is not necessary to fight, but to mark your own land with assertiveness. It is very important to keep this in mind to reinforce our children's self-esteem and their trust in us.
Common front of couple
If you are a couple, it is important to talk about the limits, norms and flexibility of these, so that you can present a common front. It will always be better to agree that it is the member of each family who takes the floor. It is easier for the child to respond to his parents than his in-laws, although everything depends a little on family dynamics and character. Either way, a common front in the couple is essential.
Strategy: passive resistance
The second strategy is that of the passive resistance. Do not fight if they do not attend to the explanations, just watch over the child and not take off from him, keeping a constant watch so that no funny person takes advantage of a mistake to give him something that we do not want him to eat. Better to go from overbearing parents than to end up with a sick child or with a monumental anger.
Third strategy: the pediatrician says so
The third resource, although I don't like it, is infallible, the authority. If they question you mention the pediatrician and even invent a tendency to allergy. It is usually very effective even if they criticize the pediatrician and your credulity. The doctor has, after all, much more predicament than you, simple first-time parents and big heads.
Not to go
The penultimate resource is to limit or avoid family gatherings. Without further negotiations. There are times that you can't, and if you can't, you can't. Before having a fight, before the child has to listen to comments against you or make dinner bitter, don't go. Seriously you can.
There are excuses, like children going to bed sooner or better, without excuses, to say that you will not be able to go without much more explanation. In the end, that sometimes allows Christmas Eve dinner not to end like a pitched battle. Surely you understand how important it is to convey an environment of trust with your children, which are the top priority.
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And the last resort is to throw the shrimp tray and crush them in the hairstyle to the in-laws or the parents or that unpleasant relative on duty. I must confess that I felt like it and I don't want you to want it, that's why I hope that my third Christmas council helps you avoid the prawn war.
