This month is, in Babies and more, the month of the father and our We are going to dedicate special interviews to fatherhood. We started yesterday interviewing Jose Ernesto Juan, founder of the Besos y Brazos Association and today we will continue talking with him about his role in raising his two children and his work in the association.
A dad who collects, and who tells him, can you explain what makes you sleep with your children?
I am a dad who collects, tells and loves to share the bed with his children. It brings me closeness to my children, I hear them laugh at night, I also hear the eldest speak-dream loudly and sometimes he even names me in those dreams. I hug and kiss them during the night almost without realizing it, and I'm glad when I'm home and I can see how they wake up and start the "Good morning" games.
In a word, what gives me sleep with my children is: HAPPINESS.
Your children take just over two years, did it cost you to accept that the older one would lose part of your exclusive attention?
They were contradictory emotions when the predictor marked my wife's second pregnancy. On the one hand there was the joy of having a new member in the family, but on the other there was the presence of a child who would be two years and five months old when the new baby arrived.
I thought we would have two babies to care for and that we weren't going to be able to give him all the attention the elder still needed.
Those moments were very hard for me, I did not want to disregard the attention of my oldest son and also receiving the typical advice of people regarding the game between them and what bothered me the most: "Better then ... In two years you will have finished changing diapers. " Clear vision from the position of the adult without thinking about the needs of the little ones.
Finally, someone whom I appreciate very much told me the best gift I could give to my oldest son was the presence of a brother, it would be hard but enriching. (Thanks Kika)
Dr. Carmela Baeza, right? She is a very wise woman whom we have already interviewed in Babies and more about her facet as a doctor and lactation consultant.
These words were the ones that took me out of my restlessness and I dedicated myself to enjoying my new son's pregnancy as well as attending as much as possible to the son who was already with us. Kika was and is absolutely right: my two children love each other madly, they are noticed in their eyes and it is also true that it is hard, but it is a precious experience.
You are president of a support association for parenting and breastfeeding, perhaps the only one in Spain. I imagine that the meetings are mostly women, are they surprised to meet you?
It is something that shocked one of the founding members of the association: that a man be the president. The rest of the founders agreed completely. The truth is that I do not think, I do not know if it will shock people who approach the association, although I am sure that some will have that thought. On the other hand, I believe that the father needs to claim his role in this patriarchal society, take advantage of parental leave and fight for it to increase, although there are still men who still do not accompany their partner in the early days, precisely when he needs them so much.
It is true that there are more and more parents who are actively involved in raising their children, although many are missing to "get out of the closet."
Come on, and men, don't they think you're a little crazy?
Can I answer what I believe? I don't care exactly. Right now and thanks to my children, I just look at myself and do what I feel I have to do. Every opportunity I have proclaimed respect for the birth of women, the benefits of breastfeeding, schooling, non-violent communication, the deception of punishment, the problems involved in a targeted education.
Right now it is a process of change at all levels and I will try to contribute my grain of sand to this change trying to make men aware of their role as parents, it is a project that I have in mind and I hope it does not take long to go out to the light.
Not only do you preside over an association, but you organize a conference that has a greater impact and better speakers. How was your career?
When from Besos y Brazos we launched the I Conference Series "Knowing Our Children" in 2011, the objective was to spread the message that another birth and another parenting is possible and even necessary. That year we managed to approach almost 1,000 in the four sessions of Saturday that lasted these conferences, and last year we managed to repeat the number of attendees. In May-June of this year 2013 we have prepared four papers that will discuss the promotion and compatibility of breastfeeding (Dr. Jose María Paricio), the answers to the “uncomfortable” questions of children (the psychologist Yolanda González) , the emotional needs of children (pediatrician Carlos González) and experiential learning in non-directed spaces (Tinus J. Wijnakker). We are working to get a space according to our needs and soon we will launch the publicity of this appointment. I hope and wish that they have the same reception as these previous years, so we will have managed to spread the message a little more.
I hope so too, rather, I'm sure. And this year I will not miss them and I will tell our readers what I learn with you.
We finished our first interview of the month of the father in Babies and more thanking Ernesto the time he has dedicated to us and we will continue talking with Elvis Canino and Alejandro Busto Castelli in the next few days. No doubt changes are coming, a new fatherhood has come out of the closet.
In Babies and more | "The best place for a newborn is the arms of his mother." Interview with Jose Ernesto Juan, of the Besos y Brazos Association, "The dedication to raising my son is offering me a lot on a personal level." Interview with Jose Ernesto Juan, founder of the Besos y Brazos Association, The month of the father in Babies and more, There are parents who have not evolved
