Deciding to take the child to nursery school is complicated, although thousands of families are forced to do so when they have a baby and the low maternity leave and family cambalaches leave no room for maneuver.
The tendency to seek grows alternative methods and arise more and more in our country Mothers by day as alternatives to the conventions of nursery schools, providing more personalized attention for small users.
Nerea She is one of the mothers who has changed the nursery school (to which she took her first child) for a mother by day with whom she had to leave her daughter during this last year.
His experience is very significant:
“My first child went to a nursery school, it was a tough decision because in this country the maternity leave is almost nil and you don't have time to see the whites of your eyes when you're leaving him in the care of unknown people, at last and after all.
I took a master's degree in the nursery schools of the neighborhood. Of course entering a public school was impossible and I opted for private, where besides leaving me half of my salary, my son was "one more number" with only eight months. It was not a good experience for me, it is more I suffered more than once when I saw that it did not convince me, that every week I was sick, that there were many children for so little staff and that although he was relatively happy, it seemed to me more a jail rolled up than a breeding site.
I did the service and I was able to reconcile with my working life, my son was lucky to have a loving teacher both years and was overcome. For me it was a place where I left a pasture and its director simply seemed like a cash register, with many standards, little credibility and very little empathy. ”
Plan B
After going through a nursery school, if things have not gone as the family expected, there are few who consider an alternative plan for their next child. In this sense, day mothers are gaining ground in our country.
In countries such as Germany, France or England they are a very common option and have much more developed regulations than ours, in some cases they even receive public subsidies.
In communities such as Navarra, a pioneer in this field since 2004, its activity has been regularized, in Madrid work is being done by the administration, inspections have been carried out at the facilities of the houses where it has been communicated At the beginning of this activity, they are visited to assess their suitability considering that mothers by day have a maximum ratio of four children and are required to present a degree in teaching, pedagogy, psychology or a higher degree in education.
Obviously, daytime mothers have to be registered as freelancers, have a first aid and food handler course in addition to essential civil liability insurance.
To help those people who want to dedicate themselves to this activity and especially to inform them, there is the “Mothers Day Network” that brings together about 60 people who are already exercising this activity and in which introductory courses are offered for the new Network additions.
What sets them apart
In what coincide those families that have taken their children to a mother by day is in the personalized attention that children receive and therefore, it is easier for each child's rhythms to be respected. As Nerea sums it up nicely from her own experience:
“When my second daughter was born and after having gone through a postpartum depression and a girl with colic and plaintiff, I decided that I wanted something different. First he was with someone at home, who coincidentally was the person who had taken care of his brother and who seemed to me someone trustworthy, were a very good months.
When that person due to health problems had to leave I refused to look for nurseries or nursery schools and opted for something that in Europe is quite established and responds to “mother by day”. It is the best experience I have had long. Reconciling, respecting, sharing ... my daughter has been in a nearby environment where leaving her was not a trauma for her or for me, where her needs for sleep, relaxation or bad mood have been respected, where there were no routines but basic rules and where Montessori, Pilquer or all these alternative systems of early childhood education are present. He has shared experiences with older children and younger children, I had never been so calm from a place after leaving my daughter.
It is a unique experience where these people accompany the child and the family, to grow and share under the concept of respect, flexibility and harmony, where the child's welfare prevails but at the same time, the service to parents who need to reconcile their time , in our case the possibility of having adapted the schedule to my new employment situation. ”
The feeling is widespread and it can be seen that many of the mothers have a waiting list. Here the economic issue, although it is a sacrifice for families, is not the most important since the monthly fee is around € 500 per child, including the child's food that must be guaranteed with the signature of a nutritionist.
What is the secret
Nerea's experience leads him to the following conclusion:
“After seeing a few mothers by day in Barcelona I have realized that the extra is that they are people who enjoy their work, live it and especially exercise it under their own rules and needs, without the yoke of a director or pre-established standards and this makes the environment very different. For me, the person who has been with my daughter this year is one more of this tribe who has helped to build her future, her character, all of them from love and respect. It may sound very hyppie but for our family it has been a balm in a hard time of changing circumstances, where she has been able to live them without any alteration. Next year I will not be able to continue with that routine and I can assure you that it has caused me great sadness. Of course, I have noticed that I have changed a lot since I have looked for a nursery school where I left my daughter for a few hours and the only thing that has worried me is that there were affectionate people, with few rules and a lot of love, where the first thing be the happiness of those crazy little ones. ”
For many fathers and mothers, the role of mothers by day perfectly combines education, socialization but above all to cover the emotional and physical contact needs that a child of such a young age presents and that in the current ratios of nursery schools remain a Little in the air.
Photos | iStockphoto
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