The sad but beautiful story of the baby born to die

We do not know how to deal with death. It is a great defect that most adults have, that we do not know how to accept it and we turn our backs continuously. That a woman suffers an abortion? He is told that he is young and may have more, that surely he did not have to be born, that better so not later, etc. That a baby dies at birth? He is told to say goodbye, not to name him, that he may have another, to focus his mind on other things ("to be cleared"). What does your child die when he is older? Avoid talking about the issue so that parents do not suffer, they suggest that you take an anxiolytic to be calmer, they look for activities so that you have distractions. They leave you some time, of course, nobody is so inhuman, but everyone usually waits for Be the same person you were before and in such a situation, nobody is the same again.

Why do I say all this? Because surely many people will watch this video and will not understand the reasons why this couple decided to give birth to their baby, knowing that I was born to die a few days later. If even while pregnant they went to choose a coffin for burial! But they chose it that way and documented it, probably, to try to normalize something that we all really know is part of life: death.

The death is part of life?

But if life is life and death is lack of life, you will tell me. I hope so the death of our loved ones is part of our life and, if we get picky, ours, because some time will come, too. And they leave, but we stay, just as, when we leave, our loved ones will stay to cry. What is the difference between not turning your back on the death of an elderly person and not turning it on that of a baby? The life, the memories, the time that has been shared? Yes, actually yes, but when a baby is born and dies, or when he dies before birth, the illusions, hopes, dreams and a lifetime that he was going to share with us are suddenly erased. How is something like that not going to hurt?

It's your baby, it's your son, born of your guts and love with your partner. You already feel like a mother when you are still inside and you feel like a father when you are not yet born. And you talk about it, and you buy things, and you paint the room, and you leave everything ready, and you think of everything you will do, how you will call him, how you will take care of him, feed him, in the time you will share and in all the love that you will give him and that he will give you and, suddenly, everything vanishes, evaporates, leaves. Everything disappears with the news that your baby will not live to do all that and everyone expects you to erase everything right away, to forget it as soon as possible, that "hey, it has not given you time to even know him, nothing happens, that you will have more , that they make you an abortion and so you don't have to suffer more, "than" eyes that don't see, heart that doesn't feel. " But no, the heart has been feeling for a long time and you cannot suddenly tell it to stop. Too much love to easily forget. Too much love and too many hopes and hopes.

The story of Deidrea and T.K.

The couple in the video, Deidrea and T.K., learned that their baby was not well in the 20th week of pregnancy. "He has a trisomy 13," they were told, "maybe I will live a few hours, a few days or maybe not even survive childbirth." Twenty weeks, enough time to decide whether to terminate the pregnancy or move on. And they decided to move on, as you will see in the video. Thomas was born and doctors saw that he was stronger than they thought and that he could go home with his parents, where medication and oxygen could help alleviate the symptoms.

He survived five days, with several scares in between, but the most important thing is not really what happened, but what the parents could live. Grateful for those days, for knowing what it is to be parents, involved until the last moment, without knowing, or wanting to know how everything would have been if in the 20th week they had decided to abort. Wasn't it supposed to be better if you remove every trace as soon as possible?

I do not speak anymore, here is the video for you to see for yourself:

Already, it's hard to see it. You are going to tell me that I have seen it twice whole and both times I have ended up crying like a cupcake. It is hard, very hard. But they had the courage to move on and the luck of sharing space and time with their first child, with Thomas, living together, caring for him, loving him and something very important, say gooobye.

I do not say that all parents have to make this decision, to go ahead and give birth to the baby. Not at all. It would never occur to me to judge such a moment, whatever the decision. I just want that, even if I disagree with his way of acting, if you are, you can understand why they did it, how they lived it and what they felt. That trying to quickly forget the bad situations, the sufferings, what can harm us, is not the only option.

What happened to them?

Surely you are wondering what happened next. We all do it because we want everything to have a happy ending. Sometimes this end comes, sometimes not. This is life. In this case, time passed and the couple achieved a pregnancy from which a healthy girl was born, his second daughter, Isabella. But this story is secondary and I don't want to focus on it, so if you want, you can see the news and the pictures of the girl here.

Video | UPSOCL
In Babies and more | "The empty cradle", a book about prenatal death, Great study on perinatal death in the world, "Now I'm going to sleep", heartbreaking but emotional photographs of parents with their lifeless babies

Video: ROBLOX. Birth to Death Sad Story (March 2024).