The truth is that there is not only one way to fall in love, but the crush is one of the most widespread, which also often occurs at the time of delivery between the mother and the baby. The first time you see your baby's face and they put it on you at birth there is an explosion of hormones that make it easier for the newborn and the mother to fall in love.
But the truth is that this idealized image of childbirth does not always occur, and it is normal that some women do not feel the famous crush on that first contact with their baby. Of course, that does not make them worse mothers, nor does it mean they don't want their baby. Have you felt the crush on childbirth when you first saw your baby?
The crush on the birth of the baby
According to a study by the University of Syracuse, the crush lasts less than a second to occur, exactly 0.2 seconds. This is the time when the brain, after seeing someone, releases a cocktail of hormones: oxytocin, dopamine, adrenaline and vasopressin, which cause feelings linked to love in the body.
And the same happens at the time of delivery, when a Unique neurochemical scenario in mom and baby's brain That will never happen again. A complex hormonal mechanism is triggered to favor that at birth love arises between mom and baby.
During delivery, the mother secretes high levels of oxytocin, known as the love hormone, which favors the baby's care behaviors. It also secretes prolactin, responsible for milk production and spontaneous consolidation; endorphins and serotonin, which make the first encounter between mother and baby pleasant; and hormones responsible for that moment is recorded in the minds of both. Although the baby does not remember it, the moment of delivery leaves an imprint on his brain.
What if I don't feel the crush?
Many women feel they have felt love at first sight when at last, after nine months of waiting, they could see, touch and hug their baby, and have him in contact skin to skin. It is an indescribable feeling of a love that floods you, a very deep connection with that little being who has just arrived in the world.
But let's be realistic. Not all women experience that crush; It is believed that about thirty percent of mothers do not feel it. And that does not mean that the mother has not felt happy to see her baby and much less that she does not love him. And of course, you should not feel guilty if that crush does not occur at first.
During delivery, you have to give adequate conditions to unleash the hormonal mechanism responsible for falling in love between mother and baby. Oxytocin is a "shy" hormone, which needs a favorable environment to segregate. Some situations such as a traumatic or not respected birth, a stress situation during labor, an excessively medicalized birth can make it difficult to occur naturally and spontaneously.
Many women go with the expectation of instant crush and when that crush does not occur, doubts arise and fear of rejecting the baby, not wanting it ... absolutely unjustified feelings that only feed insecurity and reduce trust. Eliminate those thoughts from your head and turn them into positive thoughts.
Because when the crush on your baby doesn't happen in less than a second, the crush will come slowly: day after day, with every look, with every caress, every time you calm him in your arms, when he drinks from your chest ... Quiet, because that love so deep You will arrive sooner or later.
How to favor the bond with your baby
The attachment with your baby will be fed with every little gesture. There are things you can do to favor the bond with your baby from the first moment, and that whether there has been a crush or not, they will help you connect with him.
- Put the baby to your chest right after birth. If you place it on your chest, it will instinctively crawl to breastfeed.
- Do not be separated from your baby during the first hours after delivery.
- Promote skin-to-skin contact whenever you can.
- Use a baby carrier to carry it near you as long as possible.
- Look your baby in the eye when breastfeeding or bottle feeding.
- Load it a lot in your arms.
- Talk to him a lot even if he doesn't understand you.
- Cherish it: gentle massages and caresses favor connection.
- Ask for help when you feel exhausted: fatigue and stress do not help connect with your baby.
In Babies and more | Your baby's first look of love,
