Not all mothers feel that crush on childbirth, and that is also normal

After nine months, the big day has finally arrived: you will meet your baby and you can take him in his arms. You look him in the eyes and ... nothing. What happened? And the love at first sight that everyone told you that you should have felt? Where is the famous crush?

Quiet. There is nothing wrong with you, nor should you worry. Because although it is true that many mothers feel overwhelmed by an indescribable love when they see their baby for the first time, not everyone feels that crush on childbirth, and that is also normal.

The crush on childbirth

Probably all people have heard about him. And it is a feeling that happens in an instant and that It takes place in one of the most transcendental, emotional and powerful moments of life: The birth of a son.

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The crush It's a unique feeling and full of magic, which takes place when finally mother and son will be able to see and meet each other for the first time in their lives, which from that moment will change forever.

Of course, there are biological factors that help it happen, and that is during labor, a unique neurochemical scenario takes place in the brain of the mother and the baby That will never happen again. The mother secretes high levels of oxytocin, known as the love hormone, as well as other hormones that make the first encounter between mother and baby pleasant and recorded in the brain of both.

So between this combination of hormones, the long wait for nine months and the great excitement of the future that awaits them together, it is normal for many mothers to feel that immediate crush the moment they were finally able to see, touch and hug their baby.

But I have not felt it ...

Although it's an incredible feeling, not all mothers feel the crush on childbirth. In fact, they are possibly more than we believe, because it is thought that about 30% of mothers do not feel that love at first sight for their children.

Being a moment so spoken, expected and longed for, the not feeling it when we finally have our baby in our arms, it can cause negative feelings, as guilt or disappointment, because we are supposed to feel radiant with happiness and instantly have a connection full of love.

Is there something wrong with mothers who don't feel it? Of course not. Feeling the crush or not does not define whether or not you love your baby, and certainly shouldn't make you feel guilty. But then, why haven't I felt it?

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There is many factors that can influence whether a mother feels or not the crush when you see your baby for the first time. Fears, doubts, confusion, exhaustion, stress or an uncomfortable situation because of some complication or the circumstances in which the labor occurred could be some of them.

Although hormones that facilitate the emotional bond between mother and child are secreted during childbirth, the truth is that some of them, such as oxytocin, need to be in a favorable environment to segregate, so difficult or stressful circumstances, can make it difficult to occur spontaneously.

The crush is not always instantaneous

But if we don't feel the crush, we shouldn't feel bad or feel guilty. The love for a son, It is something that also happens as time goes by, and increasing with each moment we spend with him. That love so deep and infinite that we feel the mothers will arrive sooner or later.

In my personal opinion, I repeat it again: personal, the crush does exist and it is undoubtedly a magical moment of transformation towards motherhood. However, I think that like many other things about motherhood, It is something that has been given so much weight, that when a mother does not feel it in the way they have been described, she thinks there is something wrong with her.

Of course this is not going to downplay the crush that occurs during childbirth, because we have no doubt in the world that it is a real and incredibly emotional feeling like no other. It's simply about maintain realistic expectations and not treat it as a rule of motherhood.

The way of being a mother is a long one, with many curves and full of ups and downs. And each path is different for each mother. That crush of total love for our children can happen in different ways and at different times. Some women will feel it during childbirth, while others will feel it over time. And all are well, all are normal.

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So the message here is as follows: It is also normal not to feel the crush immediately when you meet your baby. So don't feel bad, or think you don't love him. If it hasn't happened after delivery, hug him, he needs you more than ever, and you'll soon end up in love with your baby.

Photos | iStock

Video: #Momsplaining with Kristen Bell: PregnancyRealness (March 2024).